uno - todomomo

x 16 ~ what if i did?|| todoroki

Something about the precious angel in front of him seemed off. Something wasn't right. There was something occupying her mind that Todoroki couldn't see through her eyes and it worried him. He may not have been the most sensitive person in the entire world, but he could tell when something was wrong because Momo was lacking that enthusiasm about life that she usually seemed to have. He contemplated leaving it be, ignoring it like he did his own problems, but his body reacted before he did, making the decision he was too scared to. 

"What's wrong?" He asked her gently the softness of the night surrounding his question as he looked up at him innocently, almost wondering whether or not to tell him what was on her mind. He was really hoping she did becuase he hated seeing her be upset at something and not being able to do anything about it. God, he hated being in love. It meant caring about her all the damn time and he was clearly bad at the whole emotion thing. 

"I have a date," She grumped. He bit his lip to keep from choking on air and raised his eyebrows as his heart nearly shattered in his chest. Okay, minor complication. So, the girl he loved had a date. And it wasn't him. But he kept his cool. Something that confused him though, was the fact that she didn't sound happy in the slightest about this fact. In fact, she actually seemed very upset about it and that really had his emotions in a tangled knot. Most people weren't really sad about having a date. In fact, Todoroki would've expected her to be happy about such an event.

"Why don't you sound happy about that?" He worked up the courage to ask after a moment of silence in which Momo buried herself behind her fan of cards, contemplating her next move in response to his yellow six. She looked like she was debating telling him for a moment, but she seemed to figure that there wasn't much he didn't know about her anyway and just gave in to his question.

"Becuase I don't like him. And I don't think he even really wants me..." She said almost sadly as she blew out a breath and ran her fingers through her silky black hair. God, she was so beautiful. He hated that it actually made him happy that she didn't want to go on a date with whoever this asshole was. Some part of his mind told Todoroki that he shouldn't automatically assume that the guy she was going out with was a dick, but inwardly, Todoroki had to admit that he was just the slightest bit jealous (not that he would ever voice these feelings out loud because jealousy was for losers). However, instead of voicing these feelings to her, despite knowing she would understand, he just buried them deep down (well, as deep as he could) and asked her softly,

"Why do you say that?"

"Because people don't want me like that. It's just not something that happens," She said, a hint of acceptance lacing her voice in a way that forced Todoroki to swallow his emotions roughly. She didn't even see how perfect she was with her silky hair and her night-black eyes and her sweet smile. She didn't even get how cute it was when she bit her lip to stifle the screaming urge to laugh or how absolutely fucking adorable she was when she pouted like a child after losing. 

"What if I did?" The words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them and a deep blush suddenly came to her features. Time stood still as he inwardly freaked the fuck out becuase he quite possibly just gave away the one big secret he'd been keeping from her. And there was a moment that scared him half to death because she looked at him a little funny. But eventually, a wave of relief washed over him because she suddenly released som easy laughter and said, 

"You're cute, Shouto, but my parents didn't even want me. Why would you?" Her voice was light-hearted and joking but it broke Todoroki's heart nearly in half becuase it all suddenly made sense to him in a sad, twisted way. Why she didn't like him calling her princess, why she deflected every compliment she received, why she always joked about never having a boyfriend. She didn't believe she was worth it. She didn't believe she was beautiful and she didn't believe anyone could want her for who she was. And the worst part was that she almost seemed to have accepted that as a fact. A fact that wasn't true.

He wanted to tell her just how fucking in love with her he was and his body screamed to tell her that he wanted her more than anything else in the world and how his heart shook in his chest because her words stung him. He wanted to reach out to her and run his hands through her hair and wrap her in his arms and tell her that she deserved the entire fucking world- 

But he didn't. 

Instead, he just watched her wordlessly as she stood up and asked him if he wanted something to drink. She so easily dropped the subject as if it was something she'd learned to let go after years of believing she wasn't enough and Todoroki sunk his teeth into the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from releasing any sort of emotion. Why couldn't she just get that she deserved so much more than anyone around her could give her? How could she look in the mirror and not see how stunningly gorgeous she was? 

"No, I'm okay," He said robotically as she shrugged and left her room for the kitchen downstairs, leaving just him and his thoughts. His head dropped the minute she was gone and he released a sigh as he rubbed his eyes to hopefully push some sanity back into his brain. This girl would be the death of him, he was sure of it. 

The worst part though was that he wanted her. He wanted her so bad and yet whoever this stupid dick was that she was going out with was getting her instead and she wasn't even happy about it. She couldn't even believe that someone genuinely wanted to go on a date with her and he was too much of a goddamn coward to tell her that she should stop wasting her time with people who weren't him because he was there and he was fucking in love with her. 

"What if I did?" 

Dear God, he was just screwing himself over. And why? Because he was scared she would reject him? Because he was worried he would never be enough for her? He wouldn't ever be enough for her. Not because she had sky-high standards or anything like that. He just wouldn't ever deserve her. 

And then there was the fact that she was going out. On a date. With someone who wasn't him. He hated himself for not being happy for her. Jesus christ why couldn't he just be happy for her?! Half of him was happy that she was going on a date and finding someone who could actually tell her how they feel about her and the other half wanted to punch a wall becuase she was going on a date and finding someone who could actually tell her how they feel about her. He should be fully happy for her but he wasn't. Why wasn't he?! Was this what love was like because he kind of hated it. And yet he was stuck with it. 

"What I meant to say was I do. Shouto you're a fucking coward," he muttered to himself into the emptiness of the room. 

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a/n ~ haha hello again. 

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