War and Liberation

6

Pranpriya Manoban

It's almost three weeks and I haven't healing yet, Doctor Kim said that I'll recover soon but why do I feel that I'm stuck here for a years now doing nothing.

I always do little excercise like walking but not so far coz she won't allow me. And I felt like I'm no use at all. What is the purpose of being here if I don't do anything right? They should send back to Thailand. I'm getting lonely here and I pity myself for it.

If it's doesn't because if that kid I'm still at the warzone rescuing soldiers. Well I don't blamed that kid I'm glad he's all fine. Ayyy, I should accept my faith.

Yesterday I tried to talked to Doctor Kim, about my situation I thought she's going to allow me but this stupid wound betrayed me and starts to bleed. So the ending she got furious. I've never seen anyone like that she was really scary. She's more scary than my own grand father. But she's cute,If the definition of perfection will be in human form she's definitely the definition of it.

So here I am waiting for her to come here. She promise me that she'll give something to do that will distract me from boredom. And I can't wait, I'm a little bit excited. But of course I'm not gonna show it.

"Sergeant Manoban." She greeted me with her infamous smile.

"Good day, Dr.Kim." I smiled politely, honestly,I'm not like this. Why this woman is changing the hell out of me? This is strange.

"Well yesterday, I promise you something right?" She said.

"Yes." I said as I'm patiently waiting for her.

She called the staff and they're carrying.. what what was that? Is that pot? Is that for me? But for what?

"TADAAAA!!!" She said while smiling as if it's the most grandest surprise ever.

I look at her confusedly. She must've sense it.

"Uhm, this is flower pot. I'm gonna teach you how to grow flower." She excitedly said.

Oh great.

"Did you say something?" She narrowed her eyebrows.

"No Dr. Kim, WOW I CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN." What the hell, I don't like it. It's very girly. I didn't even let my grandmother teach those stuffs.."So after this planting flowers, are you going to teach me how to crochet too?" I asked sarcastically.

She glared at me.

"Are you mocking me?!" She said out loud. Oh my goodness this woman will be the death of me.

"No, Dr.Kim I'm very happy.." I pretend to smile, I don't want a mad woman in front of me. "See? I'm smiling." I finished.

"Yay!! I'm so excited to teach you!!" She's starting to get the flower pots. She's so cute that I can't help but to giggled. I'm actually looking like an idiot right now because of her. She's like a kid.

"What are you standing there, come with me outside I'm gonna teach you how to plant." She commanded and lead her way out side of my room.

I never really like this thing. But maybe I can try a little right?

She explained how to do it and I just follow whatever she's saying.

"What if the seeds that I planted will not grow?" I asked.

"This is why, I'm here I'll help you." She smiled.

"You really like growing flowers?" I asked. Wait? Why did I asked her? Maybe I'm just curious.

"Yes, my mother loves this too. When I was a kid, I'm not allowed to go outside. You know, because of the war. So My mother taught me how to grow different flowers in our garden. And I love it. My sister is not in the same interest with us. She's more on a book nerd. That's why she and father are more alike."

"That's great." I said. And I start to put some seeds to the pot.

"What about you?" She asked me. She's till watering the soil.

"Me? Well I do boys stuffs." She furrowed her eyebrows. Maybe she's confused.

"I mean you know, I chose medical field right? I like thrill. As you can see, I'm a woman but they let me as a medic combat. Cos they view me as a man. I'm more comfortable getting wounded" I explained.

"I don't get it." She still confused.

"I was born with a man's genital. Don't be scared I'm not a monster." I chuckled. I clearly see that's she's shocked.

"Ohh." That's the only word that came out to her mouth.

"Are you scared?" I asked.

"No, I'm just shook. How is it?" I look at her confusedly.

"Does it bother you?" She asked.

"Well when I was a kid I am humiliated. I don't know what my stand. Some kids are teasing me and even the look of their parents are disgusted with me. But as I grew up, I began to accepted it. I was born like this. I should be thankful." I said.

"So you view yourself as what?" She asked.

"Well actually I don't identified myself. I can be a woman or a man if I like to. I mean, does it matter? People are judgmental anyway. So for me, you can be anything you want. It's your choice and opinion that matters when it comes to yourself. My Grandpa told me that." 

"You're right. You're really open about yourself. That's bravery and you're positive about your conditon." We finished the flower thing and now we decided to sit to the nearest bench.

"Thank you." I said.

We are just sitting there peaceful. I don't know but for a long time, I felt peace and comfort to her presence. Maybe because I'm longing for someone to be here with me. Loneliness is always with me but at this moment, my silent world are starting to hear a sound. And it's scary.

We stayed there for an hours and we decided to get back. I walked her to her office to make sure she's safe. It's really dark and it scary outside even we're inside of the camp.

"So this is it."  She pointed her office. "And thank you Sergeant." She smiled.

"I should be the one to say that. Thank you Dr.Kim. I had fun with the flowering thing." I smiled at her and I heard her sniffled her laugh.

"You're welcome. Be careful on your way to your room. Have a lovely sleep Sergeant Manoban."

I smiled and just walk away. What a lovely day today.