If You Still Loved Me, As I Do You- Maxerica

Chapter 1

Celeste and I are sitting on the couch, waiting for the report to start. It was a Friday night, and we had just put the kids to bed. I can not believe I was so stupid to do it with him! He got me pregnant, and he doesn't even know. If I tell him, he could take them away from me. At the time I was really mad at myself, but now I can't believe they are here. They are living miracles. They make me very stressed, but Celeste helps me out. I thought back at the memory, of when I found out.

"Celeste, I'm feeling kind of lightheaded and tired. Can we just stay in today?" She gave me a sour look, and I gave her a pleading face. It has been a week of me doing this. I do not want to face the public about... the prince.

"Fine. As long as we can go out and have fun tomorrow. I know you are still upset about-"

"Don't say his name! It is forbidden in this household!" 

"He is the Prince of our country. Everybody talks about him. What happens when people ask you about the selection? Are you going to break down?" I had not really thought about that.

"We can deal with it when the time comes. I just had my heartbroken, and I really do not want to talk about... well, you know who."

"Okay fine. I have an idea. Why don't we look up some managers that we can have meetings with? They can help, now that you submitted to become a two. I know a few that are really incredible. Tessa-" All of a sudden I felt nauseous. I run to the bathroom and spill out my guts. Celeste comes running in, and she rubs my back. My hair was in a messy bun, so it would not get barf on it. At least there is that.

"I'm sorry Celeste. I really do not know what is wrong with me. I guess it is just something going around in me-" Celeste jerks up and runs to her room. She comes back with a pharmacy bag.

"What is it, Celeste?" She pulled out a pregnancy test. My mouth is now hanging open.

"America, you told me that you had sex with Prince... well the prince. So, anything is possible."

"Celeste, why do you even have those?" All I wanted to know was why they were in our house. I was too shocked to ask any other questions.

"Well... you saw me and Maxon in the hallway. I think you have seen my flings with guys. We hit it off pretty easily. So, just in case I needed it, I brought it with to the palace." I kind of did a sad laugh. It was true.

"Okay, fine I will take the test." Celeste leaves the room, as I take it. I did two extras, just in case, it was inaccurate. As soon as I finish it, I open the door, and Celeste comes in. I put the tests upside down. Two minutes later, Celeste flips them all over. Her mouth is open, and she is gaping. I look down and see three-plus signs. I instantly start crying. 

Why was I so stupid?

Every time I think of that memory, I am sad. But I would not be the person or mother I am without them. My music career has taken off, and I have already released two albums that went platinum. All the songs are about love and heartbreak, based on my experience. I have a concert coming up in Northern Angeles tomorrow, and it is already sold out. There is a meet and greet portion of the event as well. I was kind of nervous about all of the questions I would get, but I could not worry. I have gotten used to some of the repetitive questions I have received over time. 

Nobody knows about the twins, besides me and Celeste. Well, Marlee knows too. She comes over sometimes, just to escape the chaos of the palace. Apparently, he knows about her coming and allows her to come, and I quote, "check on me." We hide the twins from the world because people can easily figure out who their father is by putting two and two together. I will never forgive myself for my poor choices, but I love my kids, and I never stopped loving... him. I know it is wrong, but it is the truth. 

When I got the invite for their wedding in the mail four years ago, Celeste chucked it in the trash. I could not face him. He would notice that I was pregnant and put two and two together. I did NOT want that. Kriss and he have not produced an heir yet. There are heirs to the thrown, but I am not going to give them up to be royalty.

Now his children, Eadlyn and Ahren Singer, live happily with me and Celeste. He wasn't there for anything. Not their first words, first steps, or their birth. I know it is my fault for not telling him, but I don't need him in my life to be hurt again.

Guys keep asking me out, and I keep denying them. I am not going through falling in love and then breaking up ever again.

I focused back on the present and saw that I had just missed the national anthem. I missed quite a bit, to be honest. I had zoned out. I then saw him. I groaned as he made a few announcements. Celeste all of a sudden gaped at the tv. I must have missed something.

"Celeste, what is it?" She looked at me shocked. The report just turned off.

"Prince Maxon said they are inviting two of the selected back to perform for a party." I facepalmed at the use of his name. She knows it is forbidden in our household.

"Well congrats to them. Who is it? Elise, Natalie, Tiny, Bariel-" I was being so sarcastic because I honestly did not care about the parties Kriss was throwing pretty much every weekend at the palace.

"Hold up, I did not even finish yet! He said it was us!" I jolted up out of my position.

"I am NOT going back there! What if he finds out about Eadlyn and Ahren? What if-"

"America, chill out a second! We have not even received a formal invite! He said it is in a month, and one family from each province will be chosen randomly to come. There will also be lots of the country's allies and government workers. It is going to be a charity ball. To support people in the lower castes." I can not believe she is even considering this!

"I am still not going. That would require finding someone to watch Eadlyn and Ahren! We can't just get up and leave them with some random babysitter! There is no way in hell I am going!"

"Okay, America, calm down a quick second. First of all, he promised everyone we would be there, so we kind of have to go. We can figure something out with the twins. We can say that they are... well I am rambling, but basically what I am saying is that we will figure it out. Also, we have the concert tomorrow, so we will figure it out when that is over." I sigh and try to take a deep breath. She is right. I just can not let... the prince find out about HIS children.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day, and I am for once hoping it will feel long. I do not want to have to talk about the 'party' that is going on in two weeks. For some reason, I have a bad feeling about tomorrow. The only way to get over it is to face it. All of a sudden, I hear toddlers crying in the other room. Shoot! I woke up the twins with my arguing. This is going to be one long night.

A/N

Hi! Is it weird that I am writing this in May 2020? Probably. You are not going to ready this till at least July 3rd. Soooooooooo... yeah. Here is the first official chapter. I hope you like it! The next chapter will be the concert! (LOTS of drama MAY happen, just warning you) I can't wait for you to read this so I am going to sign off. I still have to finish Eikko and Me- A Selection Story. (I know, it is already done, this tells you when I am writing this.) Well, thank you again for everything you do for me. I would not be where I am as a writer without you guys. I love you all! Happy reading, and happy summer! (In the United States!) -Kenzie