You're My Blue » Lashton

Three3

☻♡

Three3

Salty tears streamed down the soft, wet cheeks belonging to a heartbroken man who had himself locked away inside of his room.

Sobs was all he could hear as his heart continued to ache and break with his never ending depressing thoughts.

Luke loved Ashton so much. It hurt him so emotionally that the pain was physical.

He wanted to be in Ashton's arms. He wanted Ashton to play with his hair while he sang soft lyrics to their shared favorite songs.

Ashton always calmed Luke down in a matter of minutes, and it was completely unreal to Luke.

Just Ashton being there would make Luke feel a joy and lethargy like nothing else. His heart would increase in a race, demonstrating really how happy and excited he was to be in contact with his lover.

But he couldn't rely on this feeling anymore. Ashton wasn't his, he never was. Their love story wasn't simple or direct like Luke wished it could be.

All he wanted was Ashton to be happy. Knowing that Ashton was going through this process of distance and closure made Luke hurt even more.

Ashton crying and being upset was just about the worst situation that Luke could mutter up, which made Luke realize that he really was such a terrible person. Instead of focusing on how messed up they both were for all of this, Luke could still only think of Ashton.

Luke hurts and Ashton hurts, but they started all of this pain and demise. They were the ones who cheated and lied, and Luke hated that the most about all of this.

How could he of let himself do this to another person? If Luke was ever cheated on, he'd be devastated. He'd be absolutely livid and sorrow-full at the same time.

Loyalty was so important to Luke. Yet he allowed himself to fall completely and utterly hard for a married man.

He went against his own morals and he hated it. But he still loved Ashton.

He loved Ashton with every ounce of his heart and soul, and he honestly had no idea how he was going to dig himself out of this scene of despair and heartache.

Luke wished that he could just get over this obstacle in his life. He wished that he could forget about how much he really loves Ashton.

He wanted Ashton. He needed Ashton.

But they couldn't be together.

Ashton knows it. Luke knows it. That's why he broke it all off.

God...he hated all of this.

All of this heartache. All of this despair...

It was slowly crumbling Luke into tiny little pieces and he was very much aware that only two things could fix it: either a lot of time or Ashton.

But the last one just simply wasn't an option.

He couldn't break things off for good and for reasonable reasons, and just turn back to him for support. It wasn't fair and it wasn't okay.

It was would be hypocritical; he would be hypocritical.

Luke couldn't hide their love in the shadows, lying to a woman he didn't even know. He was such a messed up person, even if the love that he has for Ashton makes him feel quite the opposite.

Being with Ashton—even if it was a hypothetically terrible thing—made Luke feel like he belonged and that he was home.

Ashton was his home.

Luke winced when he realized that Ashton couldn't be his home anymore. They both had to let go, meaning that Luke had to find belongingness with something or someone else.