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Songs:

SCAR~Ashton Irwin

Through the Dark~One Direction

"If you must look back, do so forgiving. If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However, the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present... Gratefully."

Maya Angelou

~Em's POV~

After a few minutes of driving, watching the rain fall against the window and the beautifully colored leaves fall against the ground, dad parked the car in front of a restaurant. It was an older brick building that looked nice, but not too fancy. 

When I stepped out of the car and the chilly breeze struck me by surprise. Before we know it, it'll be winter time. The breeze continued to assault my bare legs, exposed from beneath the thigh-length pale-pink dress I was wearing. For the first time in months I actually looked nice, and I was happy about it. 

My hair was loosely curled and littered with flowers that matched the color of my dress. For the first time in months I felt pretty. I felt like maybe staying alive wouldn't be so bad. 

"You ready?" my dad suddenly appeared next to me, smiling down at me as we made our way into the small building. The inside was cozy, littered with twinkling lights and chair in a shade of green that I can only describe as old. Bookcases filled most of the walls, making it clear to me why my dad liked this place. 

"It's beautiful," I looked around again. For the first time in months, I felt like every piece of myself was present. I was finally seeing the beauty in moments, the beauty in living.

"I wish I could feel like this everyday," I whispered, stepping closer to him as more customers crowded the lobby, letting the breeze from outside into the building.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Alive," I said, not even thinking about the impact my words may have.

"You've felt not alive?" He asked me, I could tell he was concerned but wasn't making a big deal of it. I just nodded, deciding against another lie. Besides, I had made it clear that I felt good now, and that wasn't a lie. He stared at me for a couple of seconds, deciding what to say. As he opened his mouth my stomach flipped and for a second I was afraid that I should have lied.

"Mr. Reid if you would follow me," A woman walked up to us. She was beautiful and looked to be in her mid-twenties. My eyes followed her tight blond ringlets all the way down to the apron of her uniform where her name badge was pinned, Cherri. 

"Yes of course," He responded, smiling at her politely. As she escorted us to the back of the restaurant she made the mistake of making small talk.

"What I love the most about this place is that you're surrounded by books, it's like you've got thousands of different worlds surrounding you," She smiled again as she placed the napkins down on the table. 

"2563 actually," My dad commented as he took his seat. I sighed, taking mine across from him. Cherri, as expected looked confused by his comment. 

"You just know how many books are in here?" She asked, obviously skeptical. 

"There's a poster in the front of the restaurant," He explained simply. 

"And you remember the exact number?" Oh here we go. I could already see how this would go. He would tell her how he remembers everything he reads and how yes he really does and that he in fact can read 20,000 words per minute. You get the picture. 

"I have an eidetic memory," He explained. She stared at him blankly for a few seconds before he realized that maybe he should explain what that even means. "I remember everything I read," He said, flashing her another smile. She once again looked skeptical.

"That's impressive," She responded. "Does he really?" She asked turning to me. I nodded, confirming, not really wanting to get dragged into the whole situation. 

"Well I'll give you two a few minutes to look over the menu," She said and then walked away. My dad was already reading through the menu so I decided I should probably do the same. As soon as I did I found out that this was an Italian place. Rossi would be so proud. Or not, he might just say that we should have let him cook and that it would have been much better. 

"I think the Chicken Alfredo sounds pretty good right now. What about you?" I nodded in response to his comment, looking up from the menu. That did sound pretty good. 

"Yeah I think so too," I said and just in time Cherri appeared from behind the kitchen door. 

"Alright have you guys decided?" She asked. My dad cleared his throat slightly before speaking,

"Yes we'll both have the Chicken Alfredo please," He smiled politely.

"Fantastic and what about drinks?" She asked again, scribbling something down on her notepad.

"I'll just have some water," He responded, causing her eyes to dart over to me. Practically burning away any confidence I had on what I would have ordered. In response to her wanting a response from me, I silently pleaded for my dads help. I have never ordered for myself and we both knew that.

"She'll have water too," He chuckled. She sent me a smile before walking away.

"I'll be right back with that."

"You know you really need to get used to speaking for yourself," He teased as soon as she was far enough away not to hear us. 

"I don't want to," I mumbled. I always get scared that I'll say the wrong thing, even if I was ordering something as simple as a water. 

"Well anyways back to our conversation before," He said, suddenly turning more serious. My stomach flipped, I had hopped that he was done talking about that. 

"Um I- can we just try to like talk about not me? Like literally anything else," I asked wanting stay the way I was feeling right now. If we started talking about that I would be caught up in the past all over again. That never ends well. 

"Sure," He said, "But we're not avoiding it forever." I was thankful that he wasn't pushing it and instead started to talk to him about books. Which strangely, I have never really done before. I was happy about the way that I was feeling, present and happy. 


"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most."

Buddha

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