whenever i watch that video ^ it's so sad, honestly, i cry every time
3rd person pov.
it was the day before their performances, and they were rehearsing on their stage and clothes they are gonna wear on the actual performance
"1000%, please go up," a staff said
"minju-ah, can you sing loud now?" soyou asked
"yes!" minju answered
"i'll look forward to it,"
"yes"
it was now chaeyeon's turn to sing, while dancing of course
but the thing was, chaeyeon's self esteem right now, was super low
she was extremely stressed and she felt like she didn't have enough time for herself to practice, as she was helping others
she had helped the japanese trainees with their korean for the song, has been monitoring all of their dance and practicing and fixing everyone's moves
especially with moe's fast beats
she didn't have enough time for herself
and she had given up in the middle of the rehearsal (at least from what we saw, in terms of singing)
chaeyeon was also pressured to do well, because, well most of the trainees in her team were kicked out, all except for one which was Miho
she wanted to show the other teams, that they are worth it and that she herself was worth it
"it was the worst" soyou said
"chaeyeon and miho," lee hongki said in japanese (because miho is japanese and chaeyeon speaks japanese) "the song must be hard?"
"yes," miho replied
"chaeyeon, you too," lee hongki continued saying in the mic "you gave up in the middle of the song?"
"chaeyeon is under a lot of pressure" lee hongki told the other mentors
"she's never given up like that before," soyou continued with the mentors
"it shows on her face," choi youngjun (dance mentor, male) said as he was looking at chaeyeon "i can tell that she's extremely stressed"
with all the criticism, chaeyeon's confidence was a zero, she had absolutely no confidence when doing the rehearsal, and she knew that it effected her performance
one of the mentors, bae yoonjung, was taken aback, chaeyeon was her favorite trainee among the others because she had amazing talent that would only continue to rise
when bae yoonjung started realizing that she was extremely stressed, she started worrying, and it was extremely rare for her to have this emotion, this was probably the second time she's felt it
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(that's bae yoonjung ^)
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(and that's chaeyeon's stressed out face :( , honestly you can tell from the emotion on her face)
"chaeyeon-ah," bae yoonjung said in the mic "there's something i want to tell you, i think you're a great dancer and an amazing singer."
she had said it to try and cheer chaeyeon up, and she probably hasn't shown this emotion in public
she never really told anyone that that they are an amazing dancer, so whoever she tells this too is probably really really amazing
after hearing that, chaeyeon sobbed
she hadn't felt like had any talent at all for the past few days, no one had commented at how great at dancing she was
she continued to sob, with her hands over her mouth, trying to suppress the sounds
she had honestly felt useless to the team she was in for the past few days, she felt as if she couldn't get anything correct
she couldn't dance well nor sing well, and on top of that, she wasn't pretty
she knows the immense amount of hate idols get when they aren't skinny, she also knew about the hate and criticism idols get even they aren't pretty and even they don't have any beauty
she had been getting hate comments for the past few days
"i don't get why ppl like chaeyeon, she's so ugly"
"chaeyeon has talent, but she definitely isn't s visual"
"i wonder why jyp recruited her before, usually, they pick the pretty and talented ones, but this one is just talented"
"usually when an idol is fat, they can diet and eat less, but when an idol is ugly, you can't fix that except for plastic surgery"
with these comments, she felt as if she didn't belong in this team, this team was only for the pretty, the beautiful, and the innocent looking.
and it was obvious that no one thought that about her
upon seeing someone as talented and pretty as chaeyeon, bae yoonjung had gotten emotional
she didn't like seeing people like chaeyeon cry because they were stressed or didn't think they were talented
—
i'm finally done writing this book!! only 7 chapters to go!! 😁😁
