Lifeguard from Maracas Bay

Chapter 17 - The Open Country

Leaning on a blue and white 1960 vintage Chevy with the majestic Niagara Falls in the background, Willie waved his hands and said, "I want a picture right here with my lovely wife and my favorite Auntie. I too want something to remember Niagara Falls." When Auntie Joan and Maria joined Willie, Uncle Eddie reached for his trusted camera, clicked away and said, "Three hundred." Willie turned to look at the car and said, "Three hundred! For that price I could buy this car."

With a hint of mockery, Uncle Eddie said, "Three hundred dollars! I wish! Three hundred dollars could not even pay for the rims and tires on that thing. Where did you get that price anyway?" Slightly stunned, Willie replied, "From you. You just said three hundred." With a loud sigh, Uncle Eddie intoned, "I meant three hundred pictures not three hundred dollars."

By the time they got to the car everyone had had enough of Niagara Falls and was ready for the drive home. Auntie Joan suggested that they stop for coffee at the next Tim Hortons. Willie offered to sit up front with Uncle Eddie to keep his company and make sure that he does not fall asleep while driving. Uncle Eddie tuned in to his favorite Sirius Satellite Radio station for Pop Hits from the 60s and 70s.

Dusty Springfield was belting out Son of a Preacher Man when they pulled into the drive-thru at the Tim Hortons. The ladies each ordered a small French Vanilla. Willie ordered a small coffee with three creams. Uncle Eddie ordered a large double, double. The ladies fell asleep in the back seat as soon as they finished with their coffee. Willie told Uncle Eddie how they had so much fun on this trip and hoped that he will get a chance to return the favor someday soon.

Uncle Eddie said, "Worry not about returning the favor, you still have a few more days here with us. I saved the best for last. Tomorrow we rest and on Saturday morning we are going to Orillia. We will go swimming in Lake Couchiching and then to Casino Rama for the evening." Of course, swimming was music to Willie's ears.

"To keep me awake on this long drive home, we are going to exchange stories. First, I'll tell you about my dollar store exploits. Then, you'll regale me with one of your many adventures." Willie did not know anything about the dollar store but hoped it would be exciting enough to keep him from falling asleep. Without waiting for Willie's response, Uncle Eddie started with, "The ubiquitous dollar store can be found in every shopping area, small and large, across Canada.."

"The ubi what?" asked Willie. "What is that?"
"Ubiquitous simply means that the dollar stores are all over the place."
"Well, why didn't you just say that?"
"And miss a perfectly good opportunity to use a big word!"

"Uncle Eddie, did you know that Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was written at approximately a Grade 4 reading level? And, in his legendary I Have a Dream speech, Martin Luther King used words at the Grade 5 reading level?"

"And, what does that have to do with me?" asked Uncle Eddie pensively.

While Willie gathered his thoughts, Uncle Eddie continued with "Auntie Joan calls me the undisputed king of the dollar store. Being dubbed the king of the dollar store may be frivolous to some but to me royalty status is royalty status. She called me the king because I always preferred to go to the dollar store instead of the department stores in the mall. That is of course except for the stores with tools and accessories for cars.

I did not buy much at the dollar store but I always marveled at the fact that they could produce usable items, halfway around the world, import them to Canada and sell them for a dollar. I often wondered how much it would cost to set up a factory to make things that would be sold for only one dollar.

Remember the large roll of yellow electrical cord in my garage? Well, that orange colored wheel was my very first purchase at the dollar store." Making a triumphant fist with his right hand, Uncle Eddie said, "It is still going strong.