|| dream x reader || (the youtuber)

●•°•●twelvth●•°•●

i get home after dropping him off at the airport before he has to fly out. i told him to text me when he's getting on the plane, just to make sure he doesn't goof off and miss his flight.

is he gonna miss it, will he not be able to see his friends? what if it happens again? should i be this worried? a vibration distracts me from my thoughts. i look down to see my phone has a new message, clay's on his flight.

maybe i should go get something to eat. but i just got out of the car. eh, i'm too lazy. i get up and look to see what i can eat, and when i look through the pantry and fridge, i realize i need to get back in the car, because there's no food. i stand in the kitchen and sigh, missing clay already.

i force myself to get the keys, fluffing patches' fur before walking to the car. i put the keys in the engine and put the gear in reverse. i guess it wasn't that bad, i'm just so lazy. i drive down the streets to get out of the neighborhood to the store.

i get to a corner and stop, looking both ways. when i see it's clear, i start moving. but then i see light.

at first i thought i hit something, or something hit me, but i look at my surroundings, and i'm walking, down the hallway, again.

the same brownies, the same wallet in my back pocket, the same position my mom's in at the kitchen table. the same everything.

i start freaking out, it happened again. why is it happening? what triggers it?

"you going to see that boy?"

those same words. everything is the same, except the feeling of embarrassment, has turned into fear. is this bad? is it dangerous?

i don't notice my chest quickly moving until my mom points it out. when the words come out of her mouth, i come to my senses, and i feel the need to get to clay.

"i'll be back," i say quietly because i don't have the strength to say anything clearly. i quickly leave without giving my mom a chance to say anything else.

i do everything quickly. quickly get in the car, quickly pull out of the driveway, and quickly make it to the restaurant. i burst into the restaurant, receiving glances. the front lady asks what party i'm in, and i tell her i'm with clay. she points to the direction to where he's at, and i thank her, even though i already knew where he was.

i speed over to him, keeping eye contact, he knows exactly what i mean by bursting into the restaurant and speeding over to him. i take my seat, and look him right in the eye. he holds it and sighs.

"why?" i ask.

"i don't know," he says softly. i look out the window next to us, the same one as the first time we went on this date, i was feeling happy, i didn't know that i would be time traveling, i didn't even know i had another uncle. i was just on a date.

"we have to relive everything now," i say. "what if we never figure this out? what if, we make it a year without it happening, and then it happens, we'll have to relive that year?" he stays silent. "how are we ever gonna figure this out,"

"we'll figure it out." he tries to reassure me, but it doesn't help. i decide to stay silent, not wanting to argue. i remember that my mom's gonna call me, we should probably go.

"we should probably go to my house," he nods his head.

the fear of living, and knowing you might have to restart it, is almost the worst fear to face.