Through It All

With my Friends

Can I just not wake up anymore?
I have nothing to live for anymore...

I opened my eyes to a new day, which I dread... I got up made coffee and sat in bed... the conversation that Korey and I played through my mind..

"I can't believe what she said..." I cry yet again. "I love him so much."

My phone went off and hoping it was a text from Ben. I got disappointed when I found out it was from John.

John: Outside, let's do some practicing! 😎💪💪

Again? This time it better not be a lie. I let out a sigh and throw some clothes on and I head out the door and get in the car. "Please don't talk about Ben and please tell me we are actually going to be practicing. "

John chuckled. "Yes we are actually going to practice. Korey told me about yesterday."

"Oh she did. I didn't mean to yell at her. I held in my anger and I didn't mean to let it out.."

"It's all good." He backed out of my driveway. "I'm not gonna talk crap about Ben. All I think is he needs time, you know time to heal."

"Time? Now that just makes sense!" The song Time by NF actually makes sense to me now.

"Right? Thought I would give you a better talk.. I know Kor and Seth don't like him. He's my best friend and yes I am upset with him the way he treated you and yes I am mad that he's not answering any of my texts or calls."

"Wait, it's not just me?" I thought I was the problem.

"Nope. I don't get it, it's not like him."

"I know! I don't know what's wrong with him and it hurts me." I let out a sigh.

"Just don't bug him. Give him time, he'll be ready to talk." John parked the car in his driveway and we both get out and enter in the house.

"The rest of the gang is in the basement rocking out."

I follow John down to the basement to find Korey and Seth rocking out on their guitars.

When they noticed us they put down the guitars. I walked over to Korey and hugged her. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to burst out like that.."

"I'm sorry that I pushed you over to the limit."

"Let's just be there for Jen, and no more talking crap about Ben," John said as he picked up his bass.

I smile and get on my drum kit. Every hit I made just relieved my stress, and helped me forget about my problems.

After a few hours of practice John decided that we all should take a break. "I think we did pretty good."

"Think we are ready for the Victorious tour?" Seth asked.

"I know we are!" Doggy said with a smile.

"Jen, want to help me make lunch?" Korey asked.

"Sure!"

We both go upstairs into their clean kitchen. Korey sure likes to keep her kitchen neat and clean.

She got into her fridge and pulled out lettuce and other veggies that go in a salad. She got out a large glass bowl and two cutting boards and knives.

Korey washed the lettuce while I cut the tomatoes. "Kor, John told me to give Ben time. It makes sense."

"In a way. " She put the lettuce in the bowl and she put up a cucumber.

"I don't care what you say, I'm giving him time."

"Do what you want. I told you what I thought."

"I'm holding my tongue back. I don't want to start a argument."

"Jen, I will support you. Even if I don't like what you do."

I let a smile. "I love you."

"I love you too."

We finished making lunch and we all ate and shared a few laughs. I haven't laughed in awhile nor smiled. I think everyone else noticed my attitude changed.

"So Jen are you excited to open up for From Ashes To New?" Korey winked at me.

I blushed and let out a giggle. "I am excited! Its gonna be a great tour!"

"It's good to see you in a good mood," Seth said.

"It's cause I always have a great time hanging out with you guys!" Ever since I stepped foot in the Cooper's home, all my problems washed away. I didn't think about him and it felt like as if I forgot he even existed.

They all gave me smiles and hugged me. I love these guys so much! They will always support me no matter what I do even if they don't like it.

If I didn't have these guys by my side I probably would be a mess, probably would end up bugging Ben and let it get to me. I worry way too much and I do get overworked easily, I make things harder on myself and I get stressed and emotional.

"How about we all watch movies for the rest of the day," John said with excitement. I just think he wants to cheer me up and doesn't want me to be alone and be in my sorrow.

We all agreed and gathered in the living room.