We Were Happy Once

Ch. 10 Trust Issues

Michael hated touring, let's clear that up right off the bat. But he loved preforming, meeting fans, and traveling. He would rehearse, preform, and then we would fly to the next location, so both of us were really jet lagged all the time. We arrived at the next hotel and that night Michael had to preform. We drove to the stadium, where Michael got ready and started talking to everyone and making last minute decisions. I went to the bathroom and as I was washing my hands I started singing one of Michael's songs, Liberian Girl. I never sung in front of anyone, even Michael. I was too shy and nervous to sing, so I would sing alone to myself. I opened the door and jumped as I saw Michael standing in front of me with a surprised expression on his face. "Was that you?" He asked. I blushed. "N-no..." he grinned. "Your lying." "What? No I'm not!" Someone hollered "MICHAEL! On in 10!" He looked away and then back at me. "Come sing with me, for I Just Can't Stop Loving You." "Michael no I- I don't sing in front of people." "Beth you're so good, I'm actually a little hurt you've been hiding that talent from me. Please come sing with me, please." I looked into his eyes. The sincerity in his eyes was undeniable. "Fine. I'll do it." Michael smiled. "MICHAEL ON IN 5!" "Look babe I gotta go. I'll see you out there Beth." He turned to leave and started walking away before I realized we hadn't done something. "Wait Michael!" I ran up to him as he turned to face me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. We pulled away and he grinned. I whispered, "for good luck" he laughed and kissed me again. He turned and walked away, glancing back at me several times. He turned down the hall and I let out a sigh. I started shaking. The nerves were crazy high and I had never felt like that before. I went into Michael's dressing room and searched through his drawers until I pulled out a pill bottle. I slipped some of the Demerol into my pocket and left the dressing room to  find a good spot to watch.

Singing on stage with Michael was magical. He ran over to me and grinned. "Ready?" I took a deep breath. "Ready." We walked out and started singing. As my part cane up I tried to hide my shaking. I sing out with all my confidence and to my surprise, it sounded good. Michael smiles and nodded and as the sing ran its course, I became more and more comfortable on stage until the sing ended. He escorted me off stage and winked. I felt high as a kite and started enjoying myself. 'The Way You Make Me Feel' started playing and I giggled. One of me and Michael's few friends out of the touring crew was Tatiana, who ended up being in the music video. She had been hired on to play the same part during the shows and she walked past me and on to the stage at her cue. I watched and was enjoying myself until all of the sudden Tatiana pulled Michael close and kissed him. And my heart fell even farther when I saw Michael kiss her back. Tears welled in my eyes as I watched the two of them continue the performance as if nothing had happened. I turned away as the hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I walked away from the stage and called for Bill in a shaky voice. "Bill um could you take me back to the hotel please?" Bill nodded with a concerned look on his face. "Everything ok Beth?" "No Bill everything is not ok."

We drove back in silence. Bill dropped me off and then went back to be with Michael. I walked like a zombie back to room, not paying attention to all the people trying to get my attention. I got up to the room and sat on the bed, staring at the wall. I hear someone outside and quickly wiped the tears from my face. I got up and walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I let out a sob and looked at myself in the mirror. I grimaced at my reflection and looked down at the counter. In one sweeping motion I knocked everything of the counter. Everything fell to the floor with a loud crash and I gasped.  I felt the pills in my pocket and pulled some out. I took them and curled up into the corner of the bathroom. I heard Michael come into the room and call out my name but everything was such a blur. Michael tried the handle to the bathroom door. "Beth? Beth is everything ok?" I rolled my eyes. "Go away Michael." "What did I do?" "I said fuck off!" "Beth-" "NO don't start with me Michael seriously. I saw that kiss. You... you kissed her Michael." "It didn't mean anything" "Like hell it didn't mean anything Michael" "I'm sorry babe I really am I fired her right after I didn't mean to hurt you" I could hear the sadness in his voice. "Well Michael congratulations you did." We didn't talk much that night. He helped me clean up and then showered. When he came out I pretended to be asleep. "Bethy, I know you're awake." I groaned. "Leave me alone Michael." He climbed into bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me. I rolled me eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you baby I really didn't. It wasn't planned I wasn't sure what to do so I fired her."  I sighed, tears in my eye. " I know baby I know you didn't mean to hurt me but you did ok you did and there's nothing you can do except earn my trust back ok? And I mean earn it because it's gonna take a long time to get my trust back." He nodded. "And Michael?" "Yeah baby?" "I love you." He smiles and kissed my neck and then my cheek. "I love you more." I didn't sleep that night. And later I found out Michael didn't either.