one year later | chanyeol

Trifford

'At that time, If only we had been a bit mature'

I remember that time I let her go

Yet I was misreble, regretful, stupid. How can I do that to her?

' "I'm not regretting my decision douchebag!" As she slammed the door I crumbled to the ground and kicked the broken pieces of glass and plates as I weep on the floor. How can I be so stupid?

I drunk my worries away because of school, work, and family problems. I thought it was gonna be alright. I thought the damage I'd cause wouldn't be that big.

But I Never thought that it would be this big that a part of my life was thrown and shred into pieces, and the fact that I was the one who did it.

It hurts me to see her cry, but what's worse is that I was the one who made her cry. I was so foolish of only thinking I am the only ine havingp problems in life, but I gave her a something that could Never be erased in history.

I was her first. I promised her that I would protect her and make her not regret. I promised her I'll be his first and last. Like what they always say, promises are indeed made to be broken. And I hate it.

I stood up ignoring the hissing pain from the fresh wounds on my legs and palm caused by the broken glass. I went to our room - was our room. I glared at the mirror while letting my tears pool on her make-up table - was. See? I made this mess, but I'm the one who's crying like someone did.

The real me just died. Our love just died.

I punched the mirror and screamed my heart out. Blood were dripping already yet, I couldn't care less.

"Fck this." I sobbed my heart out as I punched the mirror again. I looked at the mirror in despair. I can see no life anymore "Please come back, I love you"

I realized I was staring at Jennica that she's getting uncomfortable. I blinied and a tear fell from my eyes. I looked at the sunset and take in the amazing view in front of me. The colors orange and violet blended perfectly at the night sky. Just like before...

'If we only knew how would be right now'

I breath out a sigh and looked at her again. She looked at me and I can see in her eyes that she wants answers. I can see the curiosity in her eyes. She haven't change. She's still beautiful, much more beautiful. How I wish I was with her through out.

"Trifford, answer me. How was your one year?" She asked me again. I cringed hearing her say my full name. No no, I want to hear her say that again. I want Triff, it doesn't sound good.

"Please call me Triff."

"But-" I intruded, "Please" She sighed and nodded. She look at the sunset and asked again, for the third time. "How was your one year, Triff?"

I sighed and looked at the sunset too. How do I say this? I don't wanna scare her. I have hurt her before, I don't wanna hurt her again. She looks so peaceful now. But I'm hoping her feelings is still there, because still I have romantic in my heart.

"At the minute you slammed the door I crumpled to the ground and regretted everything I said to you. I'm so so so sorry for the things I have done to you. Sorry for abandoning you and neglecting my responsibilities. You have no idea but all I felt this one year was guilt and regret." I noticed a tear slide down her face. I wiped it with my thumb and got the opportunity to caress her face.

"I have no comfidence in overcoming these endless regrets. Please forgive me Jen, please forgive me. I won't push any further, even though you don't have feelings for me anymore. But I still do." I grabbed both of her hands and kissed it while my hands were shaking. We were a crying mess already but I couldn't care less. There's not much people anyway.

"Triff, I don't know. I don't know anymore. It has been hard. I have no idea but...ugh I just don't know. I'm confused" I looked at her with teary eyes. Who said real men don't cry? Fck that. "At least can you forgive me? Its the only way right now that will ease the pain, our pain." I hugged her tight. I miss this.

I miss the hugs and kisses. Those warm embraces we share - shared. I cherish this moment so much. Its been one year since I hugged her this tight. I inhaled and chuckled lightly "Please forgive me Jen and start again" I moved back a bit to give her space but she's still in my arms. I don't think I can let her go at this moment.

She muttered something which I didn't hear. "What was that?" I asked.

"I said I forgive you. Let's say....friends?" I hugged her tight again. I let her go and she took out her pinky. Is this dé ja vu or what? I looked at her while raising my eyebrows yet, she let out her pinky closer to me. "What is that before?"

"Friends?" I shook my head. I grinned at her shocked face. Kyeopta. "Nope not friends. We've been there already. I went a step closer" She blushed at the statement I gave. I might rushing too much but I can't help it. She's mine and I'm hers. Nothing can change that. I'm doing my best here.

"So...best friends?" She just looked at me in the eyes making me drown on those brown orbs of hers. It has been one year. I could get used to this, if she'll....yeah. She nod her head making me smile. I know she's thinking I might rip my face because I've been smiling. Who cares? Maybe, just maybe. Things would get a little smoother. Starting today. "Can you let me go now?"

I let her go of her and touched the back of my nape. Seems like I'm too into the moment. "Let me walk you home?"

She asked me questions about how I lived after we broke up. I also talked to her about the business matters we discussed with Madam Smith. We stopped infront of her house.

"Now you know my one year has past like that"

updated: 1/11/15