𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ☾︎ changki

C H P - 9

His heart wondered whether his hand was warm or not.

----

He had almost made it.

He had been so close to making it to the end of the day without crying, without breaking down, without giving in, but then the last period approached with a vengeance; and with no choice in the matter, he was forced to share a desk with the one person he wished to escape from.

"So in this equation, you need to substitute the three in for x. With this, you can calculate the exact numbers and rearrange the equation to give you your Y axis. Does that make sense?" Kihyun pointed to the first problem on the math sheet with the end of his pencil, not daring to meet eyes with Changkyun. He had been trying his hardest to avoid the male just to keep himself sane, but for some reason, Changkyun--who was really good with math--couldn't figure out the basic review.

The younger hummed, slowly nodding his head. "Yeah, I think I get it now." He flashed his friend a slight smile, yet the furrow of his brows gave way to the pain he must have been feeling. It made no sense, why he looked as if he were hurting. "And because I get it, I'll be able to get it done quickly later, so can we talk now? Please?"

The pinkette sighed, even more frustrated now, and leaned back in his chair, away from the desk and away from Changkyun. "There's nothing for us to talk about." His determined words wavered, though, when he accidentally looked up and caught his gaze with the other's. "Th-there's really nothing... to talk about."

"Kihyun, stop... Just stop it. We're friends, aren't we?" The emotions hidden beneath the surface of Changkyun's dark irises grew more desperate as he continued on; it made no sense to Kihyun. Why did he care so much? Why wouldn't he just let it go? "I know I must have upset you. I'm willing to hear whatever you have to say. I want to hear it. Don't keep it hidden inside any longer than you have to..." His words ended in a nothing more than whisper as he reached out, setting his hand upon the other's.

And Kihyun really couldn't help but feel it.

The warmth.

"Okay... I..."

There was no longer any part of the older that was strong enough to say no.

"Well..."

His heart was pounding, now, his skin growing hot. Soon enough, the familiar, saccharine warmth spread from their touching skin all the way up his spine, leaving him almost breathless.

He hated the way he always managed to fall under Changkyun's spell. However, with their hands pressed up against each others, he grew to hate it so much that he loved it, that he convinced himself that the pain felt good and that all the tears he had cried were worth it for just this one moment of selfishness. "You hurt another girl, didn't you?" he asked softly, his mind fogged with so much warmth that he almost felt like he was going to pass out. "Why did you do it? Why did you think it was okay to hurt her? What makes you feel so empty? What do you need to get better and stop hurting others? Why can't you just stop...? Just... Changkyun, you can't keep doing this. I know it probably doesn't matter, but I'm not always going to have it in my heart to forgive you. Eventually, more and more people are going to find out about all of this crap, and you're going to have no one, so please, please... just stop."

All too suddenly, Changkyun's touch felt cold.

"Kihyun..." The younger male's grip tightened as his fingers pressed into the soft skin. "I'm sorry." His hold only grew stronger, then, with what Kihyun assumed to be anxiousness. "Forgive me one more time. Please?"