𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ☾︎ changki

C H P - 14

The younger hadn't even had the chance to see his eyes before he was walking away.

----

It had been the same ever since that day.

For what seemed like weeks, Changkyun had been ignored, like he was no one, like he was nothing, or nothing to Kihyun, at least.

He had grown desperate. Everyday, he tried to start a conversation with the male, tried to steal a glance, but there was not once that he was successful in his actions.

And those hidden glances... he wouldn't at all deny that he missed them. He missed when he and Kihyun would mess around in Band, staring at each other for minutes, trying to express emotions with their eyes alone. Every once in a while, one would raise an eyebrow, and they would both smile and chuckle and giggle, but never once break their connection.

Ah... Then there was the color of Kihyun's eyes.

The last time he had seen that unique, magnificent color, it was when Kihyun was filled with such an anguish that Changkyun's heart had beat so fast it just about broke. However, it didn't break; it only developed a large, gaping hole, instead, leaving him empty, something he was sure was worse than any heartbreak.

He hated being empty.

He was empty enough to begin with, yet now that Kihyun had gone for good, he felt impossibly worse.

See, when their friendship first began, he had tried to keep the pinkette at a distance. He was just so afraid he was going to hurt someone again that he couldn't afford to get close, but after a while, it became impossible to keep their conversations to a minimum, to flirt meaninglessly. All too suddenly, there was meaning to everything that had to do with Kihyun.

He had no other choice but to ignore it.

Yet now, with the older missing from his world, there was no way he could push it away any longer. He was hurting so much. He had to find a way to keep the hole inside of him from growing too large to bare.

"Hey," he said, monotone, as he approached Hoseok and Hyungwon, of who were leaning up against their respective lockers. The two looked at him, but only one smiled. "Have you seen Kihyun around?"

Hyungwon glared down at ground, keeping his plump lips pursed.

Hoseok offered a gentle smile. "Minhyuk already drove him home. He said he was gonna go to the park." The tone of his voice was noticeably unbothered, happy even. He must not have known about what was going on. "I'm sure he's there, if you wanna see him."

Changkyun let out a silent breath of air. "Alright, thank you." He directed a slight bow of thanks in Hoseok's direction, keeping his eyes glued to the ground as he did so. He was scared to look up and meet Hyungwon's eyes, because he knew what he would see in them.

Awareness.

Awareness of just how much of a fuck up Changkyun was.

"See you."

"Yeah, see you," the tall one mumbled in a disinterested tone, though only because he was discreetly jabbed in the side by his friend.

"Be nice, he's our friend!"

"Hoseok."

"Hyungwon."

"... Nevermind."

Changkyun turned and made his way down the singular hallway, then outside and to his car. His mind was too preoccupied to focus on the other two's bickering.