Can We Love

How Could He Do This To Me?

“The Hokage will see you now.” A ninja, a Chunin, I believe, said as he held the door open for my mother and I.

I kept my head bowed, not wanting to see the man my mother sold me to.

During the trip from my home to the Village, I had ample time to think about things.

As a Jonin he will be out on missions, which means he won’t be home often.

Hopefully, at least.

He probably expects me to be intimate with him, my mother is certainly expecting a child by next year, he probably is as well.

I know nothing of this man, not what he looks like, not his personality, or what he expects from me. 
   
‘How am I to be faithful to a man I don’t love? How could he even want to go through with this? Mother said the Sandaime believes in free will, and yet this is happening to me!’

Blinking away the tears I came to a stop beside my mother. 
   
“Ah, (Y/N) dear, I apologize but Kakashi is not here with us. I know you were hoping to meet him.”

I snapped my head up in shock, looking around I noticed no one else but the three of us were gathered in the room.

Sighing in relief I turned back to the Hokage. 
   
“Hmmm. You seem rather relieved. I would have thought you would be excited to meet him.”

The Hokage watched me with keen eyes, I looked away in shame. 
   
“Haha, my silly girl is just nervous.” My mother said, pinching me harshly. 
   
“Yeah…I mean yes. I’m just really nervous sir.” I said, rubbing the spot she pinched. 

“He has a tendency to be late. But I swear he will be on time for the wedding.”

Sandaime took a breath of his pipe, blowing out smoke.

When I didn’t respond my mother elbowed me.

Jumping slightly I cleared my throat and bowed. 

“Thank you for allowing me to marry such an esteemed bachelor. I hear that many wished for his hand and I am eternally grateful.” I said robotically, the statement drilled into my head during the trip. 

“Kakashi is the one who accepted. He’s a good man, sure to treat you right. I know this probably isn’t ideal, but the Leaf values you greatly and we are honored you chose one of our own.” The Sandaime said lightly.

I felt my throat constrict.

Part of me wanted to scream, but it wasn’t worth the consequences of embarrassing my mother. 

‘I didn’t choose this! I didn’t want this! My mother chose! Hatake agreed! No one cares what I want!’ I thought viciously.

I clenched my fists tightly, glaring at the floor with a vengeance. 

“And as a token of our good will please accept this.”

The Sandaime placed a heavy pouch onto his desk, it hit the wood with a clank.

My mother almost snatched it off of the desk, I imagined her foaming at the mouth for the currency.

My mother and I bowed before being escorted out and to the building, we will be staying in.

It was a short walk through the streets of Konoha. All of our stuff had already arrived and was put in place by the maids. 

“Well that certainly could have gone better. You should have minded your manners with the Sandaime.” Mother scolded harshly before sighing dramatically and stomping away. 

‘I’m the one who should be throwing a fit! How could you do this to me?’ I shouted in my head, immensely aware that if these words would ever be spoken aloud Mother would jump into a speech about how she had to put up with my father. 

“My Lady? I can take you to your room.”

A maid gently grasped my arm and led me to my room.

The building we were staying in was small compared to the Manor, but it was cozy and suitable for a Daimyo's family.

My room was sparsely decorated, Mother refused to let me bring anything she deems intrusive to my soon-to-be husband.

All I could bring was simple necessities, like clothes, and anything I could sneak in.

She said the items would make me seem obnoxious to Hatake, that I would come on too strong. 
 
‘He’s the one agreeing to marry me! Yet I’m the one coming on too strong?’

I growled and fell onto the bed dramatically.

‘How am I to marry a man who can’t even handle the real me?’

Flipping around I stared at the ceiling. 

‘How am I to live with a ninja? How am I to sleep with some man I’ve never even met! He didn’t even show up to meet me! Am I some joke to him?’

A few tears slipped out of my control and before I knew it I was sobbing into my pillow. 

“What type of man forces a woman to marry him and then refuses to actually meet her! To dare that he would be late to this blasted wedding! To strip my life from me!” My voice broke. 

‘How could he do this to me?’

With grief and anger simmering into my bones I fell asleep hatefully imagining what type of man could ruin my life.