Can We Love

Like Mother Always Said

A loud bang awakens me.

Snapping my head up I looked around frantically for the source of the noise.

I was still on the couch, the sun just starting to light up the room.

I looked to the kitchen to see a head of silver hair slamming the fridge shut.

Jumping up I stumbled to him. 
   
“Kakashi! Are you okay? You were supposed to be home last night!” I said frantically, flocking around him uncertainly.

He seemed tense, annoyed even.

“Kakashi?” I asked hesitantly, raising a hand to touch him.

Kakashi jerked away from it and shot me a glare. 
   
“The mission ran a little late. I’m going to sleep.”

I snapped my arm down, nodding solemnly. I bit my lip to hide the hurt I felt at his tone.

Kakashi walked past me, his movements were jerky and controlled. Stiff.

I followed him at a safe distance and watched him disappear behind the bathroom door.

Sighing I went to my room, unable to stand being in the open area of the living room.

What just happened?

Was he just tired?

I leaned against my door, listening to the running water of the shower. 
   
The shower cut off abruptly and I opened my door to peak out.

I felt like a child again, watching the maids bustle around through the crack in my door.

Kakashi walked out in a towel and I couldn’t help the blush forming across my cheeks.

His muscles rippled and I swallowed, licking my suddenly dry lips.

But then he turned to walk into his room, the room directly across from mine, giving me a clear view of his back.

Maybe in different circumstances, I would have appreciated the low dip of his towel or the wet droplets that trailed down his sculpted muscles, begging for attention. 

But I couldn’t.

Because upon his back, from shoulders to waist, four red trails decorated the muscles.

Scratches.

Kakashi disappeared behind the door.

Gently I closed my door and calmly walked to my bed. Sitting down I tried to stifle the rapidly changing emotions that threatened to overwhelm me.

I knew what those were, while I wasn’t very experienced in the field I wasn’t naive. 

‘He cheated.’

I stared at the far wall and clenched my fists as a way to ground myself. 

‘No. There was nothing to cheat on. We aren’t…it’s perfectly acceptable. It’s in the rules. It’s…it’s not fair!’

I buried my face in my hands and silently cried, years of practice allowed me to quiet the sobs. 

‘Was she prettier? Better? Was I not good enough, like Mother always said? I thought that he…That he…’

Shaking my head furiously I rubbed my eyes. 

‘I stayed up waiting for him! I- He lied to me! Why are people always lying to me?’

Taking a deep breath I reeled in the mounting breakdown.

‘Father lied when he said he’d always look after me. Mother lied when she said she loved me. And now Kakashi lied too.’