Can We Love

God He's Beautiful

Currently, Team Seven is participating in the current Chunin Exam.

The last exam is to be held in a month, and they have already passed the first one.

Kakashi, while pretending to be aloof in the situation, is clearly worried about his precious Genin.

He believed in them, but the exams could be dangerous and Kakashi was often protective of his charges. They were his, his pack.

For a while, I thought I was his pack too, but clearly, I was mistaken.

Ever since unceremoniously confessing my feelings, Kakashi has refused to talk about it, instead deciding to ignore the entire thing and pretend everything was the same as before.

And it was, at least to him.

He acts like I never said a thing.

But I can't go back, I've come too far, crossed a line. A very thick and sticky line.

When I think back now, I realize what an idiot I was.

Here I worried if I could love this man, when the real question was if he could love me.

Honestly, every time I was near him it hurt.

Hurt that he ignored my feelings.

Hurt that I wasn't enough.

Hurt, hurt, hurt.

So now I was avoiding Kakashi in a way that was as unnoticeable as possible.

Staying in my room 'sleeping' until he left, working late with the Hokage, turning in early because I'm 'tired.'

Sometimes, Kakashi's eye would flash with pain, so quickly I would question its existence.

But he never said a word.

"(Y/N), this has gone on long enough."

Until now that is.

Sighing I braced myself.

Was he finally going to verbally reject me? I don't think I could handle that.

"What do you mean Kakashi?" I asked, attempting to give myself more time by playing dumb.

Kakashi sighed in exasperation, coming to sit down next to me.

I was sitting in my bed, working on a little art project. An imagined ANBU with a wolf's mask.

Closing the little sketchbook I hid it under my covers, not wanting Kakashi to see what I was drawing.

"You can't avoid me forever. You're my wife." Kakashi's tone was light, a bit strained, but joking and welcoming.

I cringed at the reminder.

I was his wife, but not his lover.

"I'm not avoiding you."

Okay maybe playing innocent isn't mature, but I really didn't want to talk about it.

Talking meant verbal rejection, and a verbal rejection meant squashing the last bit of hope I had.

Kakashi's welcoming aura turned sour, instantly shifting the air into something dangerous.

Gulping I looked down at my wringing hands.

"(Y/N). Stop this. Stop avoiding me. Stop working late, stop sleeping early, hell just fucking eat with me! Why can't we just go-"

"Because we can't!"

'Shit! I wasn't supposed to say that! I was supposed to just nod dammit!'