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[8:30 PM]
Bailey,Mia and Ag were upstairs in her room laughing and having the time of their lives

While I sat at the kitchen counter wondering if Jackson really hates me.. I sigh and changed into something comfortable in the guest bathroom downstairs

^your comfortable outfit•I go back into the kitchen and stare at my phone waiting for a call from Jackson•I hear someone come downstairs I say "I'm fine"

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^your comfortable outfit

I go back into the kitchen and stare at my phone waiting for a call from Jackson

I hear someone come downstairs I say "I'm fine".. But whoever it was continued to walk downstairs, I look up and it was Ag.. in grey sweats and a black nike sports bra

Ag comes closer to me and say "then why do you keep staring at your phone waiting for a call from Jackson". I look her and say "no I'm not".

She says "Come on Noelle you can talk to me.. I've might have been the girl that kissed you at red light and have feelings for you". I gulp air and say "you-you have feelings for me". She nods her and say "but that's not the point"

I say "okay whatever I'm waiting for a call from Jackson so biggy". Ag sits beside me and say "he doesn't hate you.. he's just made the way you have been treating him".

I say "but-but what if does hate me". I start to tear up.. Ag pulls me in for a hug and say "it's going to take a lot of hate someone like you"

I break apart from the hug, wipe my tears and say "Thank you". Ag says "your welcome now come upstairs and have fun". I laugh and say "okay".

I go upstairs with Ag and I could tell immediately Bailey was drunk.. I smile and say "you got my best friend drunk". Mia says "maybeee". Bailey says "Noelle.. I think I'm drunk".

[NEXT DAY]
I make it back home.. and Jackson was in the living room watching Tv.. he looks at me and rolls his eyes.. I sigh and quietly go upstairs

I take a shower and just find something to wear

 I sigh and quietly go upstairs•I take a shower and just find something to wear

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^what you are wearing
I go downstairs and make a bagel.. it was silent mom and dad were gone for a morning breakfast alone.. and Jackson basically hated me

I eat my bagel in peace.. Jackson walks to me and stares at me.. I don't say anything or I don't look back him.. he throws the remote at me and say "I HATE YOU.. YOU LITTLE PEICE OF SHIT". He goes into the game room

After I left I immediately cried.. I bust into tears.. I run into the bathroom upstairs downstairs and lock the door.
⚠️⚠️WARNING MAY AFFECT YOU⚠️⚠️

I grab the razor blade that was in the bottom draw.. I roll up my sleeves and I push the razor blade on my skin.. as blood comes out of my body I cry

I do it couple more times.. I hear a banging on the door it was Jackson he says "NOELLE.. are you in there.. I'm.. sorry". I immediately clean up the blood.. he says "Noelle I promise I won't hurt you I'm sorry". I say "uhm okay"

Jackson says "you okay in there". I don't respond.. he busts through the door and sees my blood he says "WHAT THE FUCK.. are you okay?".

I say "yeah-Yeah I'm fine".. he see the blood stains on my shirt he yells "LET ME SEE YOUR ARM". I say "what.. Why?". He grabs my arm and rolls up my sleeve and sees the cuts

He says "Noelle... why are you doing this to yourself!?!". I say "I DON'T MAYBE BECAUSE IM A LITTLE PEICE OF SHIT", snatching my arm away from him.. to continue to clean the blood

He leaves the bathroom... I hear Him calling a number.. I jump and run after him I say worried "what are you doing". He says "I'm telling mom and dad". I say "nO! You can't do that".

Mom answers the phone and say "hi Jackson". I snatch the phone and say "uhm wrong number mom". He says "Noelle you need help.. I know you did this before".

I say "okay so if I did..". He says "you can hurt yourself.. pass out from losing to much blood or even die". I sigh and say "okay I won't do it anymore". He says "you promise". I say "I promise"

I grab band aids from moms bathroom counters and put them on my cuts

It's was around 6pm when mom and dad made it back home.. mom yells "guys we got gifts"

Jackson and I run downstairs.. my mom hands me bracelet and say "Try it on baby". Jackson looks at me.. I say "uhm mom". Jackson stops me and say "Noelle can't try it on..we're doing a bet to try not to wear uhm accessories for a week".

I say "yeah what Jackson said". My mom and dad goes upstairs with gifts I say "thanks Jackson". Jackson says "I'm not going to cover your ass all the damn time... stop being a dick".

I say "I ONLY CUT MYSELF CAUSE YOU WERE THE DICK JACKSON.. YOU SAID YOU HATE ME, YOU THREW A REMOTE AT ME AND YOU-YOU CALLED ME A LITTLE PEICE OF SHIT".

My mom stares at me says "You cut yourself". I flips my hair frustrated I say "YEAH MOM I CUT MYSELF FOR THE FOURTH TIME".

My mom says "well let me help you-.. it's going to be okay". I cry and say "Nothing about me will ever be OKAY!?! So stop saying everything will be okay". Jackson says "Noelle.. are you okay".

I wipe my tears, wipe them on my pants and say "no but- the whole world doesn't need to know that". I go upstairs to my room..I lock my door and cry hard into my pillow

[9:30 PM]
I changed out of my bloody clothes

I lock my door and cry hard into my pillow•[9:30 PM]    I changed out of my bloody clothes

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^what you are wearing
I go downstairs and my mom looks at me worried.. I say nicely "I'm okay mom".

She says "I know but I signed you for therapy sessions". I put on a fake smile and say "okay thanks". She says "so your not mad?"

I say "no I'm not mad". I eat ice cream as she goes upstairs.. I say quietly to myself "I'm so fucked up.."

•SO UHM BASICALLY THIS EXPLAINS MY LIFEEE.. expect I don't cut myself or I don't take therapy sessions.. but I do Cry into my pillow every damn night so yeahhhh!•

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒;𝖺𝗀 𝗆𝖼𝖽𝖺𝗇𝗂𝖾𝗅Where stories live. Discover now