REVIEWED BY: DisneyTsumTsum2
Author: KoladeMotirola
CHAPTERS READ: 4
~~~~~ C O V E R ~~~~~
A tip for any cover... make sure you can read the words on it. The font you used for your name was both a hard to read color, and a small, slim script. My other cover complaint was the... thing? she was holding. I couldn't tell what that was. Otherwise, the rest of your cover is great!
~~~~~ T I T L E & B L U R B ~~~~~
Your title is good, and draws people in! Your blurb is also good as far as blurbs go. I have read a lot of blurbs in the past that have either revealed too much about the plot, or nothing at all. You have a really nice in between. The combination of the title and blurb makes people want to read your book!
~~~~~ C H A P T E R 1 ~~~~~
Your grammatical mistakes consisted mostly of capitalization and punctuation errors. I can't really go through all of them individually unless I'm editing directly. So here's an example.
There was a part where you said "With what." She asked...
Generally in a quotation mark, it will be a comma: "With what," she asked...
Or in your case, maybe it would be better with a question mark, considering it's a question.
In general, I guess the best way to fix punctuation mistakes is to read the story out loud. Usually that helps people. The grammar messed with the flow of the story a bit as well, because the two are usually related in a way. (For me anyways.)
Your strengths seem to be your description and your dialogue. Make sure you keep on adding those two things, as they really make your story so much more captivating and interesting to read!
~~~~~ C H A P T E R S 2 & 3 ~~~~~
Not even chapter related, but in the beginning, (your dedication,) someone commented about the tense you used. (had/have) I would change that as they said, as they are correct about it being the wrong tense.
In this chapter, your grammar mistakes were more to do with tenses. There was a lot of switching between past and present tense. Just wanted to point that out.
In this chapter, I really liked the change to Jessica's point of view. It was a great move as an author to switch from third to first person point of view. Not something you see often! It really made your book unique.
~~~~~ C H A P T E R 4 ~~~~~
Probably my favorite chapter so far! You have a fun writing style to read.
This chapter also helped me understand your title better. (I wrote the review for the title/cover/blurb before reading the book.) Amazing job!
~~~~~ O V E R A L L C H A R A C T E R S ~~~~~
You've got a great start! At times though, the characters could seem a little bit two-dimensional. Try to give them more layers to their personality. It makes the characters more fun to read about, and it helps the reader connect with your story.
~~~~~ F I N A L N O T E S ~~~~~
You have a good concept and plot, and you are a great writer! In the future, I would focus on grammatical mistakes and character development.
Overall, I liked your story. It has a lot of strong points. With a bit of polishing up, it could be even better.
~~~~~ S H O R T R U B R I C ~~~~~
8/10 ~ Cover
9/10 ~ Title
9/10 ~ Blurb
6/10 ~ Grammar
7/10 ~ Flow
9/10 ~ Description
8/10 ~ Character
7/10 ~ Enjoyment
16/20 ~ Plot
79/100
YOU ARE READING
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