AUTHOR: Praisyevermore
REVIEWER: FineGlitter
Cover & Title
I enjoy the font used and the placement, the gold detailing at the bottom is pretty. Is the woman on the cover Gara? She looks a little older than 14... And she's bald? I do like the title. I remember as I was reading I was looking out for when I would better understand what the title meant and when I did I was pleased!
Summary
Your summary is well written and reads nicely. The only thing that concerns me is Gara losing her sight isn't mentioned and the storyline about missing children isn't mentioned in the first couple of chapters. If that is the story's main plot then it should be introduced in the beginning chapters, and it isn't. If you did write about it then it must've been overshadowed by the birth of Gon or Gara and her ability to sense energies. Also, why isn't that mentioned either? I would imagine her abilities are a large part of the story considering the title takes after it.
Creativity & Originality
I think you are good to go in this department! I really love sibling stories, and Gara's desire to be there for her brother is really a driving force in this story. Love it.
Characters
I think Gara has the potential to be a strong character. She has a motivation and some of her character traits have shone through in the chapters I read. Her selflessness, curiosity... I'm just having trouble identifying her flaws but I'm sure if I keep reading I will come to find out. Ultimately, I'd say that a goal to keep in mind while writing is to try to make complex characters that feel human, and readers want to root for. I think you're on the right track. ;)
Plot
Yes! Great idea. I honestly don't have anything to say. I really like your idea and it's admirable that you wrote the entire book in a month. Kudos!
Writing
You're a great writer. I could imagine a lot of the scenes you would write, your writing is lush and it just made me feel. Thank you so much, sometimes really good writing is hard to come by on Wattpad. Soul Seeker was a much-needed reprieve.
Here are some notes I have:
"Her small hands squeezed and pulled, not too forceful or the old cow would jump in pain and kick her in the face—a painful image. She'd seen it happen to one of the kids in the market once, and it hadn't been a pretty sight."
In these lines, you say a kick in the face is a painful image and then later you say it wasn't a pretty sight. You can cut the last bit since it's redundant. You have other instances of redundancy in your writing so keep that in mind.
"I don't need a broken husband who will not remain as strong as his wife," Betsy told him, unimpressed by what she's seeing.
The ending isn't required. You can easily express through actions that Betsy isn't impressed. Maybe she rolls her eyes or huffs. This a moment out of several when you tell not show. Showing and not telling is a great tool to get readers to understand your character's emotions, everything doesn't have to be spoon-fed to readers.
Final Thoughts
This is really short, but I didn't have much to say! Your book is great, so my apologies, but I had to really scrutinize the small things. It's the little things that make good writing good writing. Keep writing and reading and you'll get even better! If you have any questions about this review don't hesitate to inform me. <3
YOU ARE READING
Neon Dreamers Review Shop
RandomA review shop run by the Neon Dreamers Community! Looking for an honest review? Well you've come to the right place! We give honest reviews, compliments, and constructive feedback.
