Soulmates [UberHaxorNova]

A Decade

A decade, ten years, ten long miserable years. That's how long I've been away from my soulmate. They say time mends a broken heart, not when it's your soulmate. No. When it's your soulmate, a broken heart is absolutely a thousand times worse. Heh. Absolutely. Just seeing that word brings back painful memories. That one word every time I see it, every time I read it, I hear it in my head. In his voice.

It's funny how seeming a simple word you learned to say as you were learning to talk, can cause such painful and strong feelings within yourself. How one word can rip at you and completely throw off the fabric that is your mental stability. That is what losing your soulmate does.

After leaving Colorado James and I barely spoke. Every time we tried it was more painful than the last. We both eventually stopped trying. We stopped trying to repair something that we both knew would never be repaired with such great distance between us. Texts and calls would never be enough for us after the past three years. We both knew that that chapter of our lives was closed behind the door I slammed in James' face the minute I stepped foot in that car.

So a decade since we have spoken to one another. I know nothing of what became of him. The thought was too painful to even try and pursue. As far as my own life, I graduated top of my class. I had multiple job offers and eventually climbed the ladder and this year I ended up becoming a permanent partner of the practice I got hired at after graduating.

I had everything I had worked towards my whole life but at this age, I was quickly realizing my flaw. You can have all the success career-wise. You can have the education you set out to achieve but sometimes that choice causes you to leave behind other things you may have also wanted.

I left behind my soulmate. The person who was there to support me during my teen years. Supporting my achievements and mental stability when things got tough. Yet in the end, I threw him away selfishly for my own desire. As I sit in my LA home alone, I realized that yeah I had my career goal but I didn't have anyone to enjoy it with. You only get one soulmate in life, and once you lose them. You lose a part of yourself with them.

You're never completely happy and you're never completely satisfied. The only thing that keeps me going is the thrill and the self-fulfillment I get from helping save the lives of animals every day. It's the only reason that the feelings I have deep inside haven't eaten away at me. That they haven't completely destroyed my mental state.

Even that has been starting to wear thin on me at this point. Some days I find myself struggling to get out of bed. I press on though, I do it only because I've gotten this far. I owe him that... I owe James to not give up because if I were to do so, everything I strived for would have been done in vain.

A decade of work would be worthless. A decade spent apart would be a literal slap in the face. It would be worse than the door I closed in his face a decade ago.