be mine // sooshu

03'' jealousy.

shuhua's pov
recently somi contacted soyeon for soojin's phone number. soyeon said that somi was interested to get closer to soojin and wanted to be friends with her.

i felt slightly jealous but god just made my soojin unnie too attractive. nowadays soojin unnie has been texting somi as they hit it off quite well.

they even went on a lunch date together along with soyeon, thankfully or i would have combusted.

not just somi, but eunseo from wjsn also wanted to be friends with soojin. she asked yeoreum to ask yuqi to give her soojin's phone number to contact her.

i didn't dislike them but i just felt jealous of the lack of attention soojin has been giving me. soojin unnie was glued to the phone 24/7, chatting with them all day all night.

deciding to let soojin unnie be, i just could not help but feel a little hurt. usually soojin would accompany me to watch some dramas and movies together. however now, she has been busy going on lunch or dinner dates with them.

i would just look at her from afar. so near yet so far. the cliche.

seeing her smiling to the phone made me feel mixed emotions. on one hand, i was genuinely glad that she was growing her circle of friends because she was a quiet and introverted person.

on the other hand, i felt hurt and upset.

 confiding in yuqi with the problems i been facing, i felt better spilling my emotions to someone.

"it's okay shuhua, they are just friends and i personally think you have a special place in soojin's unnie heart.'' she said.

''i hope so." i replied. yuqi then continued how special she thinks i was to soojin, listing down reasons why she thinks i shouldn't be upset. 

''thanks yuqi.'' i embraced her because i could feel the sincerity in yuqi's words.

'now don't be all moody moody. join me in a game of pubg.'' yuqi giggled, patting my head.

soojin's pov

i felt bad not giving the usual attention i gave to shuhua. but at the same time, i wasn't sure if she truly needed it. being so glued to my phone nowadays, shuhua didn't cling onto me as much as before and i hated it.

i missed her peachy scent and her endearments she gave to me. i missed her touch. as much as i loved being around eunseo and somi, i felt different around shuhua.

 she made me feel comforted. she made me feel butterflies in my stomach. she made me feel special.

shuhua has also been closer to minnie unnie. they cuddled at night and went on movie dates once a week. not only that, i could see shuhua and minnie has been more touchy with each other that made me slightly jealous. slightly.

i knew i wasn't supposed to feel that way but i couldn't help it. shuhua used to shower me in her kisses and now she was doing it on minnie unnie. 

gosh, i felt way too jealous that i had to speak to miyeon unnie about it.

miyeon unnie laughed out loud when i told her about the things i been feeling. " you're so whipped for shuhua" she chuckled, earning a gentle whack on her shoulder.

"what should i do about it?" i asked.

 "confess to her. " miyeon said flatly. 

what? confess? to? shuhua? "hell no, i'm way too scared and i don't even know whether she likes me back" i crashed my head onto the pillow, conflicted and lost.

"but you love her don't you?'' miyeon asked. " yeah, but what if shuhua doesn't? i'm scared that after i confess, she would reject me and things would get awkward. i'm also 99% positive my parents would not accept me who i am. i'm so scared unnie." i muttered.

tears threatened to overflow and miyeon could see me trembling a little. she gave me a hug and i could the warmth that radiated off her body.

"it's okay if your parents don't accept for who you are soojin. it's your life in the end and you, only you, have the right to decide how you want to live. no matter what happens, just give it a try. i'm sure shuhua loves you the way you love her soojin-ah." 

miyeon unnie's words hit me straight in the guts. her words seem to glimmer a small spark of hope within me.

but was i strong enough to confess? was i strong enough to decide how i want to live?