STARS AFTER THE STORM

2. PRICKLY PINS OF GUILT.

After the tragedy that had turned his world upside down, Arnav Singh Raizada made sure that he CONTROLLED every aspect of his life or sometimes even others' .

The moment Khushi had literally fallen into his life, Arnav Singh Raizada felt that his control had been endangered. Because, Khushi Kumari Gupta had not only made him lose his control over his surroundings but also on himself. She was a portrayal of everything he'd refused to accept and acknowledge and it made him feel weak. His past experiences had taught him that all the good in the world was only pretence and Khushi was nothing but goodness personified, too good that it made it really difficult for him to believe in her.

The scene he'd witnessed on the terrace was enough to prove his theories on the world true and Khushi wrong.

But again, he'd been wrong .

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Arnav looked on as Payal tucked in Khushi like she'd tuck a baby . He still hadn't recovered fully from the truth that had been brought to notice by Payal. That was exactly what Payal had done. She had ripped the bandaid of false accusations and wound beneath it (the truth) burned .

He decided to leave the sisters alone and followed the lead of his feet. He was mentally and physically drained . He felt blank and angry. Angry at himself for trusting his mind over his heart, for hurting the one person who had managed to see him for whom he was. He decided to visit the one place that would put sense into him.

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Aakash felt restless , Payal still hadn't returned to their room. He decided to go check upon her but soon changed his decision convincing himself that the sisters needed their time together especially when he knew what it meant to Khushiji.

He thought Payal was as a person with few words like him , but when the topic was Khushiji , he learnt that the usually quiet Payal could also speak for hours . She had enlightened him with the tales of their childhood and she ended each tale with her favourite nickname for her sister ' Pagli ! '. He often wondered if anyone else could make the word 'Pagli' sound cuter than Payal .

The shrill ring of his phone broke the silence of the night. Aman ! at this hour thought Aakash

Aman had called ASR to remind him about the International video conference scheduled for the night . ASR hadn't answered but had texted him to inform Aakash about it. This seemed weird to ASR's Man Friday.

It seemed weirder to Aakash. But assuming his Bhai must be preoccupied with some other work, he decided to carry on with the conference while waiting for his wife.

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Arnav sat on one of the white benches of the beautiful garden that had been maintained solely by him. It was his place of refuge , his place of worship , his place of peace. That place made him feel closer to his mother .

His mother was a wonderful woman who didn't deserved to be wronged . Yet, her son had wronged another wonderful woman who didn't deserve it either. She would've been hurt , she would've been ashamed of him . But , she would have told him to make mends, to apologise and to earn the apology .

Arnav sobbed at the thought of her. "Mumma , I failed in being a good son , I failed in being a good brother, and now I've failed as a lover , as a husband, as a Man . I've seen it in her eyes, in her words, in her actions- her love for me and I chose not to trust it. I thought so low of her even when something kept telling me that I was wrong. I believed in what I wanted to believe and not the truth that was in front of me the whole time. I don't know what to do Mumma. I know that I love her and I always have from the moment she fell into my arms , but in my stubbornness of not accepting my love I assassinated her character , insulted her beliefs, stole her dreams and more importantly hurt her . I've always hurt her but she'd never held it against me. Not once. But this time I doubt it's going to like that. I cannot forgive myself and I definitely can't seek her forgiveness when I'm not worthy of it." Arnav cried. He was on his knees now.