The Eye

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CursedHobbit , your rate by ninjacookiecutters is ready.

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Cover: 7/10

The cover relates to the story and gives an indication as to what it is about. However, it isn’t very eye-catching. Think about contrasting colors and using black to portray a bleak mood. Also, this is probably just a personal opinion, but maybe change the color of your author name. It doesn’t really stand out from the cover.

Title: 9/10

The title is foreboding, short, and hooks the reader in! However, the title doesn’t give any indication to what the story is about. Think about the main conflict/ plot points and try to relate the title to this!

Summary: 13/15

I love the summary! It is impactful, introduces the characters, setting, and stakes, and is short! However, there are a few odd choices of words and some grammar mistakes. For example, maybe say ‘I tear up at the statement, warm tears running down my cheeks from the speed I was moving at.’ It is less verbose and makes more grammatical sense.

Grammar and Punctuation: 3/5

There were some minor grammar, punctuation and spelling errors. However, the main problem was run-on sentences and long paragraphs. Please try and cut down the paragraphs and cut down the sentences.

Characters: 25/25

Minerva’s character is developed really well in the first chapter! You introduced her family, environment, and world. All the characters are developed superbly through the use of background information.

Story: 30/35

I liked the premise! It was very unique, interesting, and the execution was great. However, there were a few errors with run-on sentences, grammar, and punctuation. The character development was great, but the first chapter was a massive information dump and the paragraphs are laborious to read. To improve, cut down the size of the paragraphs to improve flow, and also release information throughout the book rather than all in the first chapter. This keeps the reader engaged.

Total: 87/100

XOXO
Llama

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