Hot Cappuccino Boy - BxB (COMPLETE)

Chapter 21

Boyfriend.

I gape at Aden, completely surprised and not a little shocked at that word appearing so suddenly between us.

Boyfriend.

Okay.

Time for a little self-examination, here.

I sip at my Coke to give me more time, trying to regain my countenance and...

"You don't like it."

Aden says these few words in such a bland tone that it tugs at my heartstrings. And the crushed look on his face doesn't help.

"Aden..." I trail off, not able to articulate the mess of thoughts storming inside my head into words, even less sentences.

How to make him understand that no one until him has ever pronounced this word aloud when I was present? When it might mean little gay me? And certainly no one of importance in my whole life till now has ever asked me in such simple terms to become a boyfriend.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have put so much pressure on you," he says, looking away. "It's not fair and..."

"Aden!" I interrupt him harshly, my hand gripping his a little harder at the same time. "Would you please stop and let me speak?"

He's successfully silenced, turning a startled gaze to me before nodding. He's careful to maintain a neutral look, not to reveal anything which might be uncomfortable to me.

I swallow another sip of Coke before replying in a smaller voice than expected:

"No one has ever asked me to get steady with him till you."

Outch.

Its hurts more than I'd have expected.

Yet I force myself to say out loud:

"I've never been truly a boyfriend. A booty call, a good lay, someone to spend a pleasurable few hours with. But never a boyfriend. Don't misunderstand me - I regret nothing. I love sex and I love fucking as well as being fucked. I'm flexible that way. I know how to get someone off and I know how to do it well. But relationships? That's unknown territory for me."

I stop myself abruptly, quite winded by this long explanation. Aden's gazing at me intently, as if he was committing each word passing my lips to memory.

"So, you see why your... offer caught me by surprise."

"Indeed."

His fingers softly, minutely stroking mine make me look up at him. The warmth that has deserted his lovely features when I fail to reply to his request has come back. It's a sight which makes my heart go all a flutter, as shameful as it might sound.

That thought has barely grazed my mind that I shake it off.

No.

There's nothing shameful or remotely bad in what I'm allowing myself to feel towards him.

Too much shame has been heaped on queer people in the past, too many minds have been silenced when they should have been free to speak; I promised myself, as soon as I realise what damage can be inflicted by ill-minded people to a young gay man such as myself, that I would never feel ashamed for what I am and what I love to do with other men.

My time in the closet has long been over.

And I won't get back into it.

"What are you thinking about?" Aden's voice brings me back to reality. "You're frowning."

"I was thinking of a few dire episodes of my live when I was younger. It has been... tough sometimes."

He doesn't add anything, looking like he's got all the time of the world, simply content to be in my presence, to hold my hand and to wait for me to speak my mind. Easier said than done, though.

"Why?" I suddenly find myself asking him. "Why do you want me to be your... ?"

I can't even pronounce the word, for God's sake!

Aden gazes at me in silence before taking pity on me and replying:

"I don't think you're aware of how fascinating you are to me. I already told you I found you beautiful, but that's not all there is to it. It's... indescribable, really. After my father's death, you know I've been through hard times and done my load of shitty things. During our first date, I've told you how the Troublemakers gave me a reason to get over it, to get back my bearings."

He sips at his Coke, seemingly lost in thought.

Before looking at me right in the eye.

"I thought I was doing well, that they've brought me back to this world. And then I saw you, on the other side of this counter and... I was blown away. As if only at that moment I could discern how much grey was still dominating my life and you were bringing back colour in it. I first saw your beauty, I discovered later your quickfire mind. And then..."

He shrugs.

"I fell for you. Hard."

I only realise at that moment how dry my mouth is. I utter a little laugh with no joy in it.

"How... How can you say such things?! We've only met a few days ago, I'm virtually a stranger to you!"

"That's right, it's very sudden. But I'm quite sure of how I feel for you. I understand if you can't answer right away, and maybe I went too fast with asking you such a thing right now but Ethan..."

He's looking at me so earnestly I can't look away.

"Would you please consider it at least?"

I feel panicking a little. On the other hand ... maybe it's time I give it a go. Aden is certainly worth it. And maybe if I tried such a thing with Ben... we would have been happy together. Happier than we are now at any rate. I will never know - that ship has sunk before he ever set sail. I don't want to repeat the same mistake with Aden.

But first there's some things which deserve an explanation, I think.

"Before I reply to you... Tell me more about these pics on your profile."

☕️☕️☕️

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