All I Need ✘ [Hemmings] (On Hold)

seventeen: This Isn't For Charity!

"How's school going?" Calum finally asks, turning his attention to me. 3 pairs of eyes follow.

I swallow my mashed potatoes. "It's school," I say, laughing lightly. Michael rolls his eyes and turns to Luke, staring the boy down.

He grimaces. "Wow, way to be discreet, guys." Michael smirks.

Ashton clears his throat. "Is anyone giving you a hard time?" I shake my head.

"I'm sorry," Luke apologizes quietly. "I didn't really think about what would happen to you," he admits.

I shake my head and wave a hand in his direction. "No, it's okay, that's not really what I was talking about. I'm kind of struggling in math -- "

"Hey, maybe Luke could tutor you!" Ashton proposes, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

I immediately shake my head, turning my attention to the blonde. "No, I really couldn't let you, you're so busy as it is -- "

Michael slams his fist on the table. "She isn't your charity case!" he blurts out, his voice dripping in sarcasm.

"This isn't for charity!" Luke exclaims.

Four heads turn toward the boy with the blonde quiff before we all burst into loud laughter. Sadly, the sound dies down only seconds later, the awkward atmosphere settling back in its place.

When I see that everyone's done with their food, I offer to take the plates into the kitchen, doing so even after Ashton tells me to "sit the hell down".

"Need some help there?" Luke teases, walking into the kitchen. "Don't think I don't notice how easily you get distracted."

"What, you mean like you?" I fire back, laughing lightly.

Luke pushes himself on the countertop. "Hey, that's not just me. Have you met Calum?"

A distant, "Hey!", is heard, causing Luke and I another fit of giggles. When I'm finished with the dishes, I hoist myself up onto the countertop next to him.

He turns to me, but my attention is on his legs as I watch them swing back and forth. "I know things seem better, but has anything really changed? I mean, we're not dating, obviously, but are we good?" I ask, biting my lip.

Luke sighs and turns his attention elsewhere. "I think we're good, yeah," he says, flashing me a tight-lipped smile. I nod my head, turning my attention back to his legs.

He looks away, finally asking the question that seems to be on both of our minds. "Do you still have feelings for me?"

What I really want to say is yes. I want to tell him that he's the only thing that's been on my mind since I met him, but I don't. Instead, I pat his shoulder and offer him a tight-lipped smile of my own before heading into the living room with the other boys. "Ashton, can you take me home?" I mumble, offering the other two boys a smile.

He turns to me and nods, fishing his keys from his pocket. We walk to the car in silence.

After a car ride of awkward silence, I make it back to my house, unlocking my own door when we pull up. Ashton grabs my wrist before I can go. "Everything's going to work out," he whispers confidently. I nod my head and he lets my arm out of his grasp, driving away when he sees I've made it safely inside.

***

"I just don't know if he means it, you know?"

Ashton sighs. "You can usually tell by a person's eyes and their tone. Did he look you in the eyes or did he stutter?"

I run a hand through my hair and shrug. "Actually, I don't really want to talk about it."

"Oh," he says in a clipped tone.

"Why?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"Because he told me to ask you if you like him anymore," Ashton tells me nonchalantly.

I snort. "For the record, I do."

"She said she does."

"What?"

"What? Nothing," he responds.

I roll my eyes. "Ashton, put Luke on the phone," I demand.

"Dude, she wants to talk to you," I hear after what seems like an eternity of silence on the other line. "No, she already knows you're here," he says, and then adds, "Because she's not stupid! She can hear your voice." There's more silence and more shuffling. "Hey, you can borrow my balls anytime," he deadpans. "Now talk to her, Jesus Christ. Abby, here's Luke," he finally says.

"Hey, I, um - "

He sighs heavily. "Abby, no, it's still Ashton. Hold on. God, people are so impatient," he mutters.

"Hey," Luke finally says.

"Hi," I reply, scratching the back of my neck.

"This is really awkward," he says.

"Yeah," I mumble.

"So, uh, Ashton said -- "

"I'm sorry, Luke, I don't." I pause, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I don't -- have feelings for you, I mean."

He doesn't say anything and I imagine his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "But you just said -- "

I nod. "Yeah, I know."

"No, it's okay," he says, but I can tell that he doesn't really mean it. "Ashton, she wants to talk to you again!" he yells and more shuffling is heard.

"Hey, Abby. Is everything good now?" Ashton asks in his usual cheery tone. 

I shake my head. "I have to go, Ashton."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, what happened?" he counters, his tone laced with worry.

"Nothing, seriously," I lie. "I'm just hungry, I'm going to get something to eat."

Ashton lets out a chuckle. "Well, alright then, I'll talk to you later," he says and then the line goes dead.

I groan in frustration and run another hand through my hair. As if I didn't fuck everything up before.