The Presence of Yesterday

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I didn't know how I ended up running away from him when I already heard the answer that I've been dying to hear. The next thing I knew, I was already inside Colens room, drowning with too much pain and sadness.

Nawasak ang puso ko kung paano bumalatay ang sakit na gumuhit sa mukha ni Khalid bago ko sya tinalikuran. The moment I left my condo earlier, my heart began to shatter.

Gathering my knees together, I wrapped my arms around it with my head resting on my knees. I was just silently bursting all of the mixtures of emotions that I am feeling right now. Tears can't just stop coming out of me like there's no other day and it's draining my senses. Pool of thoughts are not helping me and even these hot liquid doesn't release even a single pain. Parang mas lalo lang bumibigat ang nararamdaman ko.

I was so uncertain with what I did earlier but that was the best thing to do. My mind is in chaos right now. I want Khalid for me but I can't be selfish. Sabrina had been through a lot and Khalid deserves someone like her as much as she deserves him.

"I'm so in love with him, Vivienne. At hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko pag binitawan niya ulit ako. It is better to die than witness him fall in love with someone else." Patuloy na pumapasok sa isip ko ang sinabi sa akin ni Sabrina.

Honestly, I was incredibly terrified. She was afraid that if Khalid won't return to her, she could commit suicide. Self harm is never a jokeThis could really possibly happen, especially if the person is damaged and unable to handle the agony. Some people who are trying to end their lives are trying to escape from feeling unwanted and unloved. They might also feel loss, pain, hurt and rejection. And from her case, that's what all happened to her.

She may be too overwhelmed by the break up that's why it's not impossible that she'd do it. Hindi yun kakayanin ng konsensya ko. Khalid brings me joy and gives me life. But if it means rescuing someone from despair, I'm willing to sacrifice everything.

I bit my lip to avoid letting out a noise. I wiped out my watering face when I heard a knock. I glanced at the door when it opened and it revealed my friends with Georgia who looked so mad.

"Ano, tapos ka nang magdrama? Tapos ka nang umiyak? Masakit ba?" Angry veins in her neck were evident when she spoke.

"Stop Georgia, you're not helping!" Colens grabbed her hands, trying to stop her from telling words that would hurt me more.

"Tangina! Kaibigan din natin si Khalid. Akala ko ba mahal mo siya? You always wanted to hear that from him, diba? Ngayong nasabi na niya, I can't understand why you fucking pushed him away and told him to come back with Sabrina. Why can't you be honest with what you feel?! Ano ba talagang gusto mo kasi mismong kami, hindi ka na namin maintindihan. Khalid's hurting and the reason is because your fucking too innocent who can't even made up her own decision! Do we need to always tapped your back so you can stand with your own feet?!"

I never saw Georgia this angry. She's always happy-go-lucky, naughty and crazy-talkative. I must admit that she's making her own point. But how could she tell these without knowing my own reasons? How could she easily judge me and question the things that I did for the sake of once life. I am deeply wounded by her shits over me and it just added the pain that I felt earlier.

Hindi naman din naging madali ang ginawa ko. I made it out of my heart but I still did it because I don't want anyone to get hurt. It's not that easy to let go of someone you love but I have to. Even if it hurts so bad.

I clenched my fist. "You know nothing about how I feel, Georgia!" Sigaw ko sa kanya na may halong galit at tampo.

She chuckled nonchalantly. "Then enlighten me! Because if your hurting now, you fucking deserve it!" She shouted for the last time before leaving the room.