The Presence of Yesterday

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Since the first day I met Khalid, my entire world has revolved around him. It is all because of him, from him, and for him. I was used to him being there as my buddy, so I really expected that the changes and adjustments would be awkward. Well, maybe only for me. I still can't believe it. I would sometimes press my eyes together and think. What if all of these were just a dream? Naiisip ko palang ay naninikip na ang aking dibdib.

I was once a fan of reading fiction and romance books. I often picture myself in those wonderful settings where girls live enchantedly with their prince- charming. I had a dream that I would meet a man who would openly adore me and express how much he wanted me in his life. The unmeasurable amount of love he would give. Everything was great and lovely. But then I knew that they were all fiction. Pawang katwang isip lamang at walang katotohanan. A flawless love story with a joyful resolution They were unaware that before they got to their happy ending, there were floods of issues that led to heartbreaking scenes.

That's the reality! Hindi laging masaya, minsan ay masakit din. Life is cruel. Idagdag pa na tunay na malupit ang mundo. One time you are dancing with so much joy then the next day, you'll drown with so much sadness and all. Masaya kami ngayon pero paano naman bukas? Marami pang oras at taon na makakasama kami. I never removed the possibilities of hardships in our relationship that may cause us to be hurt. I maybe quiet about it but I'm afraid of losing him. Natatakot ako na baka isang araw, gumising na lang siya na hindi na ako ang mahal niya at humanap na siya ng iba. I'm so fucking scared!

For the past few months, Khalid has become extra clingy, sweet, and possessive over me. I don't mind since I find it cute. Everyday, he would always tell me how much he loves me and that I am his everything, however cringe-worthy may sound. Hindi ko na nga alam kung nakakailang sambit siya sa isang araw. At kahit na paulit ulit iyon ay hindi parin ako magsasawang pakinggan. It's really good to hear!

Ibinalik namin ang dati namin nakasanayan. I will cook for us before the rooster crows while he cooks at night. Pero dahil gusto nyang panindigan ang panliligaw sa akin, uunahan niya ako sa paggising para sya ang makapag handa ng aming agahan. Hinayaan ko nalang din dahil mukhang sayang saya naman siya sa kanyang ginagawa.

At night, Khalid would always insist on sleeping with me. Literal na tulog lang. Noong una ay hindi ako pumapayag pero dahil marupok ako, idadaan nya lang ako sa kwento hanggang sa makatulog na kami sa piling ng isa't-isa. He would always ask me out on a date when he wasn't too busy at school. He even took me to Tagaytay once. I assumed we would simply eat at my favorite restaurant, but he brought me there while I was still in my uniform. Because we didn't have school the next day, we spent the night there. Even when it wasn't necessary, he would always offer me flowers and gifts. His presence alone is sufficient for me, but he always goes above and beyond to make me smile.

Khalid is full of surprises and my heart always flutters because of those.

"Lagi na kayong mag kabuntot. Baka mag kapalit na kayo ng mukha, ha." Our friends once told us. Even if that's the case, we made sure that we still have time for other things and people. Personal space matters to the both of us.

Si Sabrina naman, hindi na sya muli pang nagparamdam sa amin gayundin ang pinsan niyang minsan nang nanligaw sa akin. The last time that I saw her was in the carpark. I was at doubt at first. I really expected that she would run after Khalid but she didn't. Thanks God!

I sighed heavily as I entered my unit. Silence echoed the place and somehow, it's good to hear. I carefully put my bag in the couch and immediately removed my shoes. Walang pasok si Khalid ngayon at sinabi kong huwag na niya akong sunduin dahil dumaan pa kami ni Serah sa bookstore, my blockmate. We're just heading the same way so she just dropped me off.