ER

twenty-eight

two days later - july 25, 2020

holding my hair out of my face, i kneel beside the toilet in the emergency room bathroom and empty my stomach contents into it.

every fucking day, this happens. i meet with a patient, i draw some blood and take it to the lab, and then i end up leaning over a toilet.

it's like i'm watching myself die.

again.

i gather some toilet paper in my hand and wipe my chin and lips of the saliva and stomach acid. this shit sucks ass.

i push myself off of my knees and make my way to the mirror, cupping my hands under the running faucet and bringing the water to my lips. i swish the water around my mouth momentarily before spitting it into the sink.

grabbing a paper towel, i sigh deeply and wipe my hands and chin once again. "get it together, gwendolyn."

ten minutes later, i'm being whisked away by trauma nurses to suture up a few minor patients.

"how'd this happen, miss clair?" i ask the small girl as i poke the suture needle through her eyebrow and thread it through.

"i fell down the stairs," the girl says softly woth a lisp, her eyes closing tightly as she sees the needle. "how much longer?"

"just a few more stitches, sweetheart," i tell her with a soft smile, continuing my actions before tying them off, starting another one right after. "that must have been one bad fall."

"i'm really clumsy," the ten year old says, her eyes open in to stare into mine. "i broke my arm last year because i ran into a steel door."

"dang," i say with a soft laugh, thing the last suture. "you're good as new."

after i scribbled in her chart and hand it to a nurse, i see familiar green roots walking into the suture room, gauze covering her cheek.

"what the hell happened this time?" i ask her, a loud sigh leaving my lips as i replace the suture kit with a new one.

"stupid bitch was testing my last nerve," she grumbles, slamming herself down in the chair. "you should see the damage on her."

"what was it about, billie?" i pull on some gloves and pull the gauze away from her cheek, finding a cut about an inch long just above her cheek bone.

"she was talking shit about you," she grumbles under her breath, closing her eyes as i spray the numbing salution on over her skin. "i just lost it."

"i can fight my own battles," i murmur, picking up the instruments and poking the needle through the skin. "but thank you for defending me."

"it's my job," she says, a slight smirk crossing over her lips. "how are you?"

"tired," i mumble, thrusting the needle through twice more before tying it off, staring another one. "i haven't been sleeping much."

"come over tonight," she says, placing her hand on my knee under the sliding table. "i can cook and we can hang out."

"do you know how to cook anything other than burritos?" i ask her with raised eyebrows. my knee starting to bounce slightly as my anxiety began to rise. i don't know why, but the aching feeling in my chest seemed to grow with every passing second.

"i can follow directions," she says with a half hearted laugh, her eyebrows furrowing as my movements slow. "gwen?"

"yeah?" i ask, blinking repeatedly to get the slight blur of my vision to go away. i continue to tie the second suture and set the instrument down.

"are you okay?" she asks me as my hands place a bandage over the newly sutured skin.

i let out a soft hum, my eyes becoming heavy as the pain in my chest grows larger. "yeah, i'm good." i stand up to grab her chart off the counter, my lip catching between my teeth

"you're pale," she murmurs, standing up after me.

i turn my body to look at her, but the quick movement made my head spin as i feel heat rise to my cheeks. i struggle to keep my eyes open as my heart begins racing, my knees giving up under my weight.

"gwen!"

if anyone has chapter 29 please send it to me on instagram @uncrownedbillie please and thank you

love you forever thank you for being patient.