Deceitful Seduction

Kabanata 12

I could still remember how I mourned for the death of my sister. How I cried so hard even though I was pregnant that time, then I discovered that the father of my child was engaged to someone else. That broke me. It has tore me apart like a piece of paper. I didn't even know what to do that time, then Kuya Geralt entered the picture and became my big brother who saved me from my brokenness. Then after that, Leanne came as a blessing in disguise. She became my friend and the one who I could lean on to whenever I have problems.

And now this.

"Kailan pa? Kailan pa, kuya?" Hindi ko mapigilan ang boses ko na gumaral dahil sa emosyong nararamdaman.

Her face, her laughter, her smile that I used to cherish. A part of me died when they said that she's gone. That she's dead. But now here it is, finding out that she's alive. I reckon that I look so stupid right now.

His golden eyes looked at me seriously as if reading me. I know why he's doing this, he wants to be careful with his words so that I won't end up breaking apart.

"The boss didn't say anything about that. Nagpadala lang siya ng mensahe na buhay ang ate mo at umuwi na tayo."

Tulala pa rin ako hanggang sa matapos ang usapan namin. I stared at my daughter who's still sleeping peacefully. I can't help but cry silently as I look at her. She looks like her father and at the same time like me. The resemblance are undeniable. I'm afraid of the situation right now. Gumugulo ang isip ko sa mga nalaman.

One thing that I feared about going home is seeing those gray eyes again. I'm afraid of what he'll do. Hindi ko na alam kung ano na ang nangyari sakanya. For years, I locked myself from anything that is related to him. I was afraid. Though I have forgiven him already of him what he's done to me from the past, I don't regret that also. Dahil doon kasama ko ngayon ang anak ko. My little angel. My blessing.

"Mommy?"

Napabalik ako sa kasalukuyan noong marinig ko ang maliit na boses ng anak ko. Tiningnan ko siya at nginitian noong makitang nakatingin siya sakin habang kinukusot ang mga mata gamit ng maliit niyang kamay.

"How's your nap, baby?" I asked her sweetly before I laid beside her.

Lumapit naman siya sakin at yumakap sa leeg ko at doon ibinaon ang mukha. I brushed her shoulder length hair as I wait for her answer.

"I dreamed of daddy,"

Natigil naman ako sa ginagawa sa buhok niya noong marinig ang sinabi niya. Umalis siya sa pagkakasubsob sa leeg ko at tiningnan ako.

"I saw him, mommy. He said that he's waiting for us to return." She said softly.

I know very well that she's been longing to meet her father. She knows Hypnosius, hindi ko naman ipinagkait sakanya ang ama niya kahit sa picture lang at pangalan. She doesn't know anything about what happened from the past. I didn't even told her that I have a big sister because I want to forget everything.

Tiningnan ko ng matagal ang anak ko. I can see the sadness in her eyes as she look at me too. Alam niyang nasasaktan ako kapag ang ama niya ang topic namin. Alam niyang nasasaktan ako but she didn't said anything. She could feel me kahit wala akong sinasabi sakanya. She knows how to empathise and somehow, that makes me scared and proud at the same time. I'm sacred that other people will use that to her and turn it as her weakness but I'm proud that at this early age, barely a four year old child, she could understand how other people felt already.

By looking at her, a decision has already been decided inside my head.

I brushed her cheek with my thumb as I look at her intently. "Listen to me, baby. We're going back to momma's country."