better than me - minishaw

aced it.

harry.

When he had gotten home that night, Harry immediately looked up Simon's song. He read the lyrics and his heart shattered into a million pieces, it was obvious that Simon related to that song deeply, showing that he was well and truly broken.

The boy at the party Harry had run into a week ago was a completely different person, he was just a facade, hiding an extremely lonely boy underneath.

Harry still felt like what he had done today wasn't enough, he needed for Simon to have more people he could be friends with or to trust. An idea struck him so he immediately rang Lux to see if his plan was able to be carried out.

.•*

"Alex, could you please get down from the table, you're going to fucking crack your skull"

The boy in question was standing on a very shaky table, trying to hang up balloons on the ceiling while Phil was trying to convince him to get down. Everyone else was running around the room trying to get everything ready.

"Sure, Phil," Alex gave him a cheeky grin and then jumped off it, landing on top of George who just gave out a groan of pain from the floor.

"Goddammit, where's Freezy when you need him, he's the only one who's tall enough to reach, I mean, he is a giraffe," Lux was sticking his head out of the door, trying to see if anyone was coming.

Harry ran around in circles, trying to make sure everything was perfect. Of course, considering the people who were doing it, it was absolute chaos.

James and Stephen were purple-faced, blowing up as many balloons as possible in a minute, just because they wanted to.

"Everyone shut up and hide, I can hear Freezy in the hallway!" Lux told everyone and turned the lights off.

Everyone scrambled to find hiding spots and suddenly there was a loud crashing noise from the corner.

Simon and Freezy entered the room because of the noise and startled them. They turned the lights on to find that Alex and George had crashed into the drums and were now giggling relentlessly on the floor.

"Surprise I guess?" Stephen came out from his corner and gave a very confused Simon a gift.

"OKAY EVERYONE SHUT UP FOR A SECOND YES IM TALKING TO YOU ALEX & GEORGE" Lux yelled so he could talk to Simon because Alex and George were blowing fucking kazoos. "So, Simon, happy late birthday! I'm sorry I didn't say this before but I just didn't see you yesterday. Anyways, we're celebrating your birthday on Friday at my house since Phil only gave us ten minutes to do this today. It's going to be a sleepover and it'll only be us there! You'd better come or I'll find you in your sleep..."

Simon laughed at Cal but said that he would be there. Freezy cheered but was quickly ushered out by Phil who didn't want practice to be delayed even more.

.•*

After practice, Harry took his sweet time in putting his guitar away and putting the amp back because he knew that Simon was going to figure out that it was his idea. And he was right, when Harry turned around, Simon was still there, sitting on the table.

"It was you, wasn't it," Simon was looking at him straight in the eyes, a strange expression on his face that Harry could not decipher.

"Maybe."

"Thank you," Simon was fidgeting now. "I honestly mean it. I don't know what I would've done yesterday if you hadn't helped as you did. I didn't see it then but now I do."

Harry just shrugged like if it was nothing. He didn't mind being nice, it didn't cost a single penny and he could sometimes make people's day. "Do you wanna walk home together?"

Simon nodded and the two of them slowly made their way home. Yesterday they had discovered that they actually lived on the same street, just one block away from the other which was a surprise.

"I'm sorry I used to be so rude to you, I don't understand how you can be so nice to me after that," Simon wasn't looking at him now, he was much more interested in the pebble he was kicking across the street.

Harry didn't understand it either, he would usually ignore rude people but with Simon, it had been completely different. It had all been worth it though, the warm fuzzy feeling that stirred up inside him every time Simon smiled assured that.

"I don't feel like that was actually you."

They walked in silence for the rest of the way home but it was a comfortable one. It was the first time they actually felt comfortable around each other and it was a nice feeling.

.•*

Josh and Rosie's bickering in the hallway was what finally shook Harry out of his thoughts. He looked at his empty page of homework and then out the window. It was dark outside and he had been thinking about Simon for over an hour.

He needed to talk about it, he couldn't understand what was happening.

vik barn

hey vik
answer me
are you alive??

Yes, what is it-

uh this is a weird question
but,,, are you straight?

Yeah, why?

how do you know you're straight

I think girls are hot

okay, but what if I don't think girls are hot?

Then you're probably gay-

no vik you're not understanding,, I don't think anyone is hot and I am very confused-

I thought I wasn't able to like anyone cause I don't wanna shag anyone but now I think I might have a small crush on someone and argh I don't know anything now

Harry, it sounds like you might be asexual.

what the fuck is that

Just use google, it won't hurt to look it up.

a•sex•u•al
adjective.
1. without sexual feelings or associations.
"asexual individuals may still experience attraction but this attraction doesn't need to be realized in any sexual manner"

Oh, well, that made more sense. Labels were confusing but at least he knew that he could like someone only romantically. He was now at peace with himself.

Yes, the part of him that might like a very specific someone would have to wait for later, he was satisfied with his findings for the day.

author's note: yeah maybe I added an ace character cause I'm ace as well,,, anyway,, remember that asexual doesn't equal aromantic and Harry hasn't figured anything else out yet,,,