better than me - minishaw

i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth

OKAY PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG HERE ITS JUST ✨VIBES✨ AND ITS ALSO ONE OF MY FAVOURITES

harry.

"joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of 'best friends'
we're the kids who feel like dead ends"

Harry laughed sourly upon listening to the Fall Out Boy song that was playing on his phone. Kisses on the lips of best friends, that was worse, for sure.

He would bet that Simon didn't even know that it had happened, he had probably been piss drunk at that moment, which made Harry feel even worse. He hadn't been sober either, but had he taken advantage of him?

Harry gave out a small scream into his pillow. He didn't want to face him, what if he remembered?

"and  I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses,
I took a shot and didn't even come close at trust and love and hope"

The first day was the worst. He avoided Simon like the plague, running away every time he saw the top of his head from afar. It was miserable but it was all he could do, Harry was well and truly an absolute coward.

He even skipped lunch and went straight home when school ended, not showing up to his biweekly practices with Simon (or what they called "fucking around procrastinating" which Vik sometimes joined in) he just couldn't face him. Harry knew that Vik was going to be there anyway so it wasn't like he was going to leave him alone.

.•*

The second day was nearly as bad. There were dark circles under his eyes due to the sleepless nights he had been having since Friday. He wasn't able to function properly and managed to drift off in half of his classes, earning him bad looks from his teachers. Harry felt like someone had removed his brain and replaced it with cotton because he wasn't able to think at all.

It was hard to avoid Simon in his zombie-like state but he managed to do it anyway, running away whenever he thought he heard his voice nearby. Doing it was exhausting but Harry felt like he didn't have a choice, he was too much of a coward to face him. He even ended up skipping band practice, even though Simon wasn't the only one who's going to be there but he just couldn't stand the thought of being in the same room as him.

The guilt was starting to get to Harry because not only was he harming Simon, but he was also harming the entire band by not showing up. But then again, they did have enough members, sometimes you don't need two guitarists. They were going to be fine without him.

"please put the doctor on the phone
'cause I'm not making any sense
blame everyone but me for this mess,
and my back has been breaking from this heavy heart"

.•*

On the third day, during lunch, Vik decided that he was fed up with him. He found Harry in an empty classroom and slapped him in the face.

"Harry, what the fuck is wrong with you!"

"Goddammit, Vik! That hurt!" It actually hadn't but Harry wanted him to feel guilty, he was interrupting his sulking.

"Is something wrong? You haven't shown up for lunch for three days straight, you look like shit and you dart away from Simon like if he was evil. Did something happen between you two?"

Harry groaned and buried his face in his hands before mumbling out a few words. "Maybe. Kind of. He doesn't remember."

"Harry, just talk to me, I'm here to listen, I won't judge you." Vik was sitting cross-legged on the floor, waiting patiently for him to respond.

"Fine then. Ikindoffuckingkissedhimbutweweredrunksoitdoesntmatterbutistilldontwanttoseehimbecauseikindahaveamassivecrushonhim."

"What?"

Harry repeated everything again but slower and his face had turned tomato red. "I kind of fucking kissed him but we were drunk so it doesn't matter but I still don't want to see him because I kinda have a massive crush on him. Fuck you Vik for making me tell you this."

"Oh my god."

Harry kicked him softly in the side. "You're the smart friend, be useful."

"But I'm shit at advice! Do you really want to hear what I have to say?"

"No." Harry gave it a second thought and changed his mind. "Maybe yes, I really don't know what the fuck to do!"

"Okay, so, you said that he doesn't remember, right? That simplifies it so much because, in his eyes, nothing has changed. And for you, I'd just start acting normally, suck it up and be nice to him, maybe he likes you back and you're too stupid to notice it."

"Thanks, Vik."

.•*

That afternoon, he looked for Simon everywhere but the tall boy was nowhere to be seen. He finally found him under the stairs, headphones in his ears, ignoring the world around him. Harry plucked one of the small earbuds out and put it in his. "What are we listening to?"

"Uh, it's just The Brobecks, I've been listening to their only album on repeat. Why are you here, I thought you had gone home already"

"Why would I, we always hang out at this hour — also I'm sorry I basically disappeared for the last two days, I had a lot of stuff to deal with at home, my little brother broke his arm and I had to help out"

"and the record won't stop skipping,
and the lies just won't stop slipping
and besides my reputation's on the line"

The stupid song lyrics written by Pete Wentz had been rattling inside his head for too many days now. It was a great song but he didn't need it to remind him of his own problems, he related to it a bit too much.

But fine, he wasn't telling Simon the complete truth. It's not like Josh hadn't broken his arm, it just wasn't the reason why he hadn't been present.

Harry had worried about it too much, everything was okay between them. That only showed that Simon didn't remember that night which made Harry feel better but worse at the same time, he couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if he did.

author's note: the makeshift title for this chapter was "who even listens to fall out boy anymore?" just because I listen to from under the cork tree on a daily basis even though it came out fifteen years ago but eh we vibe,,, it's their best album so