Safe and Sound

Safe and Sound - Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

When I texted my Mom after school on Thursday to see if she was home, she told me she had a late meeting and I would have to make my own dinner. I didn't tell her that Rowan was in Dallas, and I knew Rich wouldn't be home until 8 P.M. or later.

  It felt surreal, getting into Rowan's truck now. The last time I was there, we had made out for an hour, hot and heavy. It felt like just hours ago and weeks ago at the same time.

  He kissed me, twirling a finger through my hair. "Where to?"

  "Uh. My house," I began. He looked confused, to be honest. "It's... empty for a few hours."

  "Are you serious?" Rowan asked, and I couldn't really read his expression.

  "Yeah. If you want to go there," I said, clicking my seat belt in.

  "Cass... I want to be alone with you. You know that. But should we... what if your mom-"

  "She has a meeting until seven," I interrupted. It was just a bit after three. "We can do something else. I didn't mean..."

  Now, Rowan grinned, relaxing. "Your house it is."

  It was so quiet in the house. I left the bedroom door open so we could hear if someone came home early. I dropped my bag by my desk and took off my sweater, while Rowan sat on my bed.

  I stepped closer to him. "You still want to touch me, and kiss me?" I asked, then laughed.

  "Now it seems like a lot of pressure," he replied, serious.

  "Row... I didn't mean..."

  "Come here, I'm kidding."

  I didn't know if I was ready to have sex. How do you know if you're ready? I knew I wanted to, which was a start. I knew I loved Rowan, and I knew that when he kissed me, it felt like I could do anything and it would be okay.

  In my bed that afternoon, with the rest of the house empty, Rowan and I made out, his shirt off, his hands under my shirt. I was not going to stop him if he wanted to do more, I had decided. He rubbed himself against me and kissed me, and we were connected in a way like never before. But suddenly he was pulling away, moving himself off of me, ending it all.

  "I'm sorry," he told me, breathing heavy.

  "For what?" I asked, sitting up a bit.

  "We haven't talked about sex. We should talk about it," he told me.

  "Now?"

  "Well, we could."

  I had never talked about sex, with anyone besides Kate. She was my only friend who had done it and she told me her first time was awkward and painful, but now it was amazing every time. She had only been with Archie, so it wasn't like she had a ton of experience. With my mom, the subject just never came up. She knew I took the sex ED classes at school. She told me to talk to her if I had any questions, but I didn't. Until now.

  "I've never had sex," I told Rowan. "But I know I want to... with you."

  He grinned, unable to help it, then leaned in to kiss me. "I want it to be special for you."

  "So, you mean not now?" I asked.

  "I want to, believe me. It was hard to stop... kissing you... but sex is a big deal. And I don't want to have to leave right away after, or whatever. I want to have the whole night with you."