Safe and Sound

Safe and Sound - Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Things fell into a groove with Rowan and I, easily and quickly. I told him things without hesitating, like how my dad hadn't even called since the accident, and how that made me angry, and how I was scared of getting the cast off. I didn't even tell my mom or my friends these things. But I knew I could trust Rowan. Somehow, I felt even closer to him now.

   It only took two day before Kate and Archie were back together. By Tuesday, I saw them making out in the cafeteria at lunch. Sonya was surprised, but I wasn't. For some reason, I just knew that was what would happen.

   On Wednesday evening, I threw up in my bathroom before I crawled into my bed. I knew it was nerves. I was terrified to find out if my arm was healed. Just as I was about to text Rowan goodnight, my phone rang.

   "Hey," I answered, smiling.

   "I just had this feeling that you were freaking out," he said, without saying hello.

  "I... yeah. I'm nervous," I admitted.

  "I wish I could be there," he told me, his voice sounding sad.

  "I know. I will be fine," I answered, pulling up my blanket.

  "You'll be great. Text me as soon as you know?"

  "I will. Thanks, Rowan."

  "I love you, Cass," he said easily.

  It was still unimaginable that he said this to me. He'd been saying it every day since the weekend, making sure I didn't forget. But it felt surreal, still. He loved me.

   "I love you," I repeated. "See you Friday?" It was his day off this week.

   He groaned. "Yes, but... it's Chase's birthday. I forgot, and he reminded me today. And since he and I have been hanging out again... he wants me to -"

  "Okay," I interrupted. It wasn't okay, but I knew it had to be. I was not going to be that girlfriend who gets upset when her boyfriend wants to hang out with his friends.

  "He just wants to go for drinks. Xtreme is the only club that serves us... his older brother actually works there," Rowan went on, like this was not a big deal.

  "Rowan, I said okay."

  "Will you come?" he asked, surprising me.

  "What?" I was not expecting that.

  "I can come get you after practice. We can come back here-"

  "And how will I get home?" I asked quickly. "You'll be drinking."

  "I don't have to drink," he replied. "Or, maybe you can stay over again?"

  "Row..." I lowered my voice a bit. "I'm really lucky my mom didn't find out about last Friday."

  He sighed. "You don't want to ask her if you can stay over?"

  "No!" I yelled. "I mean... I can't. She'll freak out."

  "Fine." Now, he was upset with me.

  "Don't be mad. If she knows I want to sleep over, she'll know we are having sex. I do not want to have that conversation with her-"

  "Cass, you're almost eighteen!"

  "Yeah, I know."

  He sighed again, waiting a minute before talking again. "I'm sorry. I just want to be with you, you know that."

  "If I ask my Mom and she says no, it's like moving backwards," I told him. "But I don't want to keep lying to her."

  "I get it."

  Now, I took in a breath. "But you're still mad."

  "No. I'm sad. I haven't see you all week."

  "Saturday?" I suggested, but I had tears in my eyes.

  "Yeah, for sure," he finished, and then said goodnight.

  But now I was mad, at the situation. And sad. He wasn't coming to Dallas on Friday at all, like we had planned. He would come early on Saturday and we would go for lunch, spend the day together, making out in my bedroom with the door open. But it wasn't enough. Not for either of us.

  "Where's Mom?" I asked Rich, the next morning, as I walked into the kitchen.

  It was 7:30 A.M.; I'd already showered and did my hair, and planned to try to eat something. My appointment was at 8:15. I would go to school late, again. Rich always left the house before eight, so I was surprised to see him.

  "She had to rush to the office. There was an emergency. She said she texted you," he told me.

  My stomach turned. I hadn't looked at my phone yet that morning.

  "So-"

  "I'm taking you to your appointment, and then to school," he told me, smiling.

  "Oh." My heart dropped.

  Rich was great, but I needed my Mom.

  I ate breakfast, barely, and packed my school bag, tossing in a banana.

  The drive to the doctors' office was too quiet, I could hear my pulse racing. I couldn't even speak, for fear of possibly throwing up again.

  "Excited to get that thing off?" Rich asked, pulling into the parking lot at the office.

  "Uh, yeah," I said, forcing a smile.

  The doctor cut off the cast without any hesitation, and I held my breath, trying not to look terrified. I wanted my mom to be there with me. She would tell me it was going to be okay. As the doctor peeled off the cast, my body felt weak.

  "Breathe," he reminded me.

  "Sorry," I said, taking in a breath.

  I glanced at my arm. It looked weird, thin. But I realized quickly it didn't hurt. It sort of felt numb.

  The doctor gently stretched out my arm, feeling it at the elbow and all around. I held my breath again, but he looked happy. I couldn't let myself relax.

  "It all looks good. How does it feel?" he asked.

  "It feels... weird. But it doesn't hurt."

  "Great. Let's get you a scan," he finished.

  The images showed everything was how it was supposed to look. The doctor was pleasantly surprised. I felt relief, but totally freaked out at the same time. I just kept looking at it, forgetting the cast was gone.

  "I'm impressed, Cassidy. Your arm looks fantastic. I think a few weeks of PT just to make sure it gets strong again, and it will be perfect," the doctor told me.

  Perfect. What a weird word to describe my arm. It looked very imperfect to me.

  "Thanks," I said, slowly stretching it out again.

  "Take it easy with cheer, as well. I'd like to see you in a month, for one more scan."

  I nodded. "Okay."

  Rich jumped up, clapping, as I walked towards him in the waiting room when it was all done.

  "Congrats, Cass!" he yelled, embarrassing me.

  "Yeah, thanks," I smiled.

  "Back to normal, just like we knew would happen," he went on on.

  "I just have to book my physical therapy appointments..." I said, nodding.

  I wasn't back to normal, I knew that. My arm might always be weaker. My legs would always have that scar. And I had Rowan, who changed me more than both of the injuries. But for now I would have to pretend I was back to normal, because that is what everyone was going to think.