Untamable Resolve: The Witheridge Witches

Ch. 29 - Baby Steps

TW: I discuss the after-effects of rape in a flashback.

After Lucas left, I promptly finished the last bite of my breakfast as I read the same ten words of my book over and over again with zero ability to focus. My brief intimate moment with Lucas had thrown me off, and it was just now hitting me. There I was again. Numb.

'But why?"

I racked my brain as I ran upstairs to get ready for the day. I tied my haphazard hair into a sloppy bun before I stripped down out of my pajamas and went into the bathroom after selecting my clothing for the day. I turned on the shower as I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw my bruising was nearly nonexistent as I gently prodded at my neck. Walking closer to the mirror, I brought my fingers up to touch my temple, where Lucas had kissed me as a vivid memory came flashing back to me.

'Daniel.'

I stepped into the shower as the scalding hot water hit my skin, and I closed my eyes.

It had been months since I had thought of him. All the same, he was always with me. He was a young adjunct professor who stepped in for my History class when the head of the department's wife got ill, and he had to drop a few classes off his plate. After only my second class with him, it was clear that both of us were fond of one another. It was probably more because I was the only one who did the readings that he assigned and found them enjoyable. But it was hard to deny that we had chemistry. To this day, I had experienced nothing like it. This was what I imagined having a soul mate was like. My previous boyfriends in high school were pathetic in comparison. I spent the first few weeks practically living in his office during his allotted office hours as we talked through the complexities of life and universal truths. He begged me to swap to becoming a History major from Biology, and I almost did. Almost. But I was going to be a nurse just like my dad.

It was absolute bliss until I was raped at a party that an insecure acquaintance dragged me to one night by a random frat boy, and I stopped attending class. My grades were suffering, but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was sit in my dorm room and stare at the yellowed concrete wall by my bed, and the blinking light of the wifi router as the sound of trashy television played in the background. I should've called the cops, but I had been drinking like a lot. Plus, my head was so fuzzy, and it was so dark, and I couldn't make anything out that would differentiate him from the thousands of other guys at my university. They'd never find him. I didn't tell my parents either. This would hurt them especially my Dad. I'd probably tell my mother one day, but not now. I kept putting going back to class off another day, that was until I got a text from Daniel. I guess he had pulled my number from my student records. I hadn't checked my email since the incident.

The text read, "Let's have a meeting at 9:30 am tomorrow before class at 11. My office. I'll bring you your favorite mint tea."

I didn't respond to him, but I went. I threw on my biggest hoody and didn't bother to change out of my sweatpants that I had worn for the last five days. My whole body was shaky as I approached his office, and saw him inside grading papers with his red pen wearing a black turtleneck. He had my tea placed by my normal armchair in his office. I knocked gently as he raised his head and gave me a small smile. Behind his glasses, I could see that his eyes were concerned. I didn't usually look like this. I was normally just as polished as him.

My fingers trembled as I grabbed the paper cup full of hot tea that he had brought me and took a sip. He took off his glasses and placed them on his desk before moving to the armchair directly next to mine.

'I didn't need to tell him. He knew.'

My bottom lip started to quiver as he placed his hand on to the armchair, and I brought mine up to his as our fingers grazed one another's. I closed my eyes as tears started to stream down my face. I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me, but this was the best that he could do. I opened my eyes to find him wiping a few tears from his cheeks.