The state that I'm in. (BEING EDITED)

What to do

The first thing I needed to do was talk to Leo and see what he had to say. I dialed his number and waited a couple of seconds before he  answered.

“So he told you…” he candidly stated not even bothering to say hello.

“Why didn’t you say anything Leo?” I asked almost accusing him.

“ It wasn’t my place to say…Val…he likes you…What was I supposed to do? You know I am shit with this Val. For fuck’s sake he doesn’t even look at a girl for a whole fucking year and then …boom…call her…ask her to meet you…let’s go see her…I fucking miss her…Tell me Val..What was I supposed to do? He was miserable because he hadn’t seen you before you left for uni and he begged me to come see you. What the fuck was I supposed to do?” he asked breathless not really expecting  an answer.

“ I..I..I don’t know what to do Leo…Tell me what to do.” I muttered.

“Val, have you any fucking idea how many girls throw themselves at him every time we go out because I drag him out that is? He hasn’t even paid attention to any of them until you came along. Fuck it Val, it is simple…Do you like the guy or not…don’t fucking ask me what to do…you know what to do…” he spat. “It’s your life. You need to pull your shit together and make up your mind. Nobody can decide for you sis” and I knew he was right.

After taking a long shower clouded with thoughts I went in my room and turned the CD player on listening to music trying to forget what happened only hours ago. I removed the towel from around my body and put on a black mini dress, black boots and straightened my hair. I finished my makeup and I was just about to get my car keys when I heard the phone ring from inside my clutch bag. I opened it, took the phone in my hand and looked at the number.

I had no idea who it was but given the situation I felt I had to answer it.

“Hello…”

“Hello. May I speak with Valerie, please?” a husky voice on the other line. An older man asking to talk to me.

“This is Valerie…” I replied with hesitation.

“Please excuse my intrusion. This is George Styles, Harry’s father…” he continued and my jaw dropped…

“ I am calling to ask you a favour dear…You see I insisted that Harry talked to you before he got more serious with you… I feel it’s only fair that you know about his situation…” he added.

“Yes, he did tell me…” I said and sat on the edge of the bed curious about where this was going.

“I just don’t want my son to get hurt or you for that matter. If you feel that this is too much just tell him so and send him on his way. Don’t take this lightly…His wife is really a handful” he confessed.

“ She wants to be with him…he doesn’t want to hear her name. I think you should know before you make up your mind. My son, Harry is infatuated with you. He hasn’t smiled for nine months until you came along but you need to understand that this is huge. He will be a part of the baby’s life” he pointed out.

“I know…” I added.

“ So if you don’t want this…just consider it a fair warning. If on the other hand you decide that you do want to be with him then you are welcome at our home any time…” he completed.

“Thank you Mr. Styles…for warning me…”

“I am doing this for Harry. He has been through enough…” he explained.

“OK” I said not knowing how to go on.

“Good evening Miss” he said and hung up.

Getting in the car I felt how surreal all of this was. I wasn’t even able to tell Rose about it although she realised something was going on. She asked me if she was meeting Harry at the club and I said that I simply didn’t know and she stared at me waiting for more but I just couldn’t explain. It was hard for me to take everything in myself let alone explain it to someone else.

Maybe if I had explained it to someone else that would mean actually acknowledging that it was true and I had to decide on what to do. And I had to decide fast. Harry was waiting, his family was waiting, Leo was waiting, I was fucking waiting…maybe it would be easier to forget all about it. I mean I did fall in love in the past but now it was as if nothing happened. I would forget all about it, all about him eventually.

 Words like wife and baby and give birth and she wants him were dancing in my head and I just couldn't contemplate where this was going. Fair warning...choose...

I don’t even know how I got to the club. I don’t even remember if I ran any red lights. Thank God I was safe and I didn’t hurt anyone else on my way there. On entering I saw Mark at the door, he was a university student too and a friend. He worked there as a bouncer, security.

“Looking good, Val. Long time no see” he smiled.

“Hey Mark. How are you? Exams …you know” I tried to sound unaffected by thoughts swirling my mind.

“I’ll see you inside…Laters” I continued and walked in going down the stairs to meet the vast interior of the night club which looked so calm without the lights and music on. It was divided into sections with numerous high tables and stools, a VIP section which was a bit more private, a dance floor, a DJ box and four large bars catering the different sections.

I saw and greeted the other girls working there waitressing , just like me and I talked with the supervisor to assign me my section for the night. He gave me the left wing and informed me about a party that was going to take place. He also let me know that I would be working with Dan who was one of the bartenders. I was to get the drinks from him. Josh the DJ arrived soon after and set up and I was busy too setting up my section and before I realized it we were open. The music was on and loud and the lights dark and clubby.

I had reserved a table and a couple of stools for Rose and Harry…Yes. I hadn’t texted him. I figured that what needed to be said had to be said in person and I wanted to see him even if it was for the last time… I hadn’t decided yet. When I saw him I would know.

I kept busy with the party thing, getting their orders and trying to avoid getting my ass grabbed by some of the guys there occasionally signaling at Mark who would come near me to give them some nasty looks and showing off his bulgy figure. Eventually they gave up hitting on some other poor girls dancing near by…

“Vaaaaalll…” Rose’s voice was heard from a distance and I tried to make out where she was  as it was quite smoky and dark  when I finally spotted her and walked towards her giving her a warm hug meaning so much more than ‘hello’ and she knew that.

“What is it girl?” she asked me worriedly.

“It’s nothing…I can’t talk right now. Later” I replied.

“OK” she said not wanting to pursue this any longer given the time and the place. “Go get me a beer gorgeous” she said and I already felt better.

Through the crowd I managed to quickly get to Dan’s bar and got Rose a Mexican beer which was her favourite and headed to her table. Arriving I noticed that she wasn’t alone any more. Harry was there, too.