SMILE (Kim Namjoon AU)

25

The very moment you walked inside the shop, I knew from then that you have walked into my heart.

I remember noticing how your hair danced at your every step. How the corner of your eyes wrinkled whenever you threw that adorable smile. I can still recall the very first time I heard your angelic laugh that for a moment— I thought I was hypnotized.

How you tried so hard to look cute in front of me— which is really unnecessary.

You didn't have to do all of that to get me. I knew— I knew it's wrong but I can't help it.

Everything you do. Whether intentional or not— all of it. All of it, got me.

You introduced yourself and told me you liked me. I was afraid to break your heart. I don't wanna see you hurting— but that time, it was the best decision.

I have a girlfriend and I shouldn't see another woman, added the fact that you were still very young— damn lady, you have really given me a hard time.

But you were so consistent on putting me on your hands. You said you've got love at first sight and I badly wanna say the same thing— yet I couldn't.

It's wrong— I thought.

For weeks you have visited the coffee shop nonstop just so you can see me— you said.

But after finding out that I have a girlfriend, you stopped coming. But one day, suddenly, you came back— telling me your sweetest goodbye. I can't forget how my heart wrenched into pieces seeing the glimpse of sadness in your eyes. Oh baby please stop breaking my heart.

I don't want you to leave. Please stay— if I can only say that.

Months later, you never came back just as what you've promised that day. I badly wanna stop you, but I know it was the best for you. You will find someone better than me in the future— I console myself.

My girlfriend and I have broken up. She cheated, but the funny thing is that I didn't even felt a single hatred, I wasn't even sure if I got hurt— I was more even happy for finally escaping the relationship that's no longer entertaining me.

She cried that day, telling me I was the reason why she cheated— turns out she felt like I was ignoring her, that she doesn't feel any importance from me anymore. I blamed myself for making her cry— I should've known better. I should have gotten out of our relationship sooner so she'd be free but I was an ass. I let her suffer in my arms. I felt sorry for her, I was truly sorry.

I took my time, healing what's need to be healed. Focusing on my self and my family and friends. Doing what I enjoyed. Trying to get to know myself even more.

Even when I know there was a gap in my heart. Longing to be filled. Wanting to feel the content ment— with you.

All those times— there was one girl who never left my mind. It was her— this girl right in front of me.

I have no idea how many times she got hurt because of me, but one thing's for sure— I am more than willing to spend my lifetime with her, along with our future child to make up with all the hurt she had gone through without my knowledge.

Everything still felt so surreal. Even up to this point of our relationship. Even after all the highs and lows of our relationship. Even with all the hardships I had to go through for her sometimes— unnecessary lament.

Even with all the imperfections. All the ugly sides of our relationship. Even if we sometimes can't understand each other. We're still here— we chose to stay with one another.

And if you'll ask me— I'd definitely want to stay with her forever. I sure, will always choose her.

"Will you marry me?" I asked, kneeling in front of her. Finally coming to a decision to make this relationship last for a lifetime.

It's been five years since we became in a relationship and as I promised to myself that one day I am gonna marry her— I am now making it. All that left is her answer.

Please say yes— I prayed silently at the back of my head.

As the clock turned back to twelve, ending the countdown and stepping into a new year; I heard her answer.

"Of course!" She cried. I smiled, standing up so I can wear her the ring. I looked at her candle-like fingers as I slipped the ring through it. It was indeed the only missing on her.

She lift her hand in the air, looking at it with a teary eyed before hugging me. I laughed— hugging her back. Feeling my eyes moist with happiness.

"CONGRATS HYUNG!" I heard my friends cheered in unison. I smiled at them.

I am now facing a new year with a new challenges... with my future wife beside me.

Bring it on baby, I am ready.

-

END.