Bad Rumors

20

"When I was younger things weren't easy. I was always sick. Always... dependent. Scared... At the time no one knew why I was so ill... but when the split happened... and Remus was created people seemed to just chalk it up to that." Virgil's eyes narrowed as Roman smiled sadly. "I somehow got it in my head the split only happened because I was... defective."

"Roman..."

"I know." Roman shrugged as he avoided Virgil's gaze. "Patton had a long talk with the both of us about it all. Said that... Thomas was having trouble with defining himself so... it branched out and effected his sides. I was split because Thomas was split over who he was and how he was supposed to act and react. Remus was his spunk. His childish wild nature. I was his awe and wonder. As we all got older we started to grow more and become the sides we're meant to be. It wasn't until I was around 16, I think, that we actually became creativity." 

"That's when I started to notice Remus... how different he really was to me. Not just in personality but... I had overheard about the dark side. Patton was talking with Dee about it all and... I realized Remus and I were on two different sides. He was a darker creativity. He was... He was a dark side." Virgil smiled softly as he took Roman's shaking hands seeing the other's eyes twitch a bit in thought. "I couldn't let him leave. I was scared. If they saw what I did in him... I was worried they would kick him out. I... I created the rules to prevent that. I thought if Remus never showed his 'true colors' then no one would ever be able to force him away from me. There'd be no reason for him to leave."

"But... You know those rules don't work." Roman's eyes narrowed as Virgil frowned. "Yet you still forced them on me. Why?"

"They... Work? Don't they?" Virgil faltered a bit as Roman shook his head. "No. No, they work. When done right... They have to... they... I can't lose people. I can't..."

"Roman, I don't understand..."

"Virgil, I do care." Virgil jumped slightly at the sudden crack in the prince's voice. "I do care. I care about everyone. I care about everything... maybe a bit too much. When... When you mentioned the rumors, I panicked. The way you spoke made me worried I had fucked up. So, I did what I thought I had to keep you here so that I could figure out how I messed everything up and... It just got worse. I really really fucked everything over."

"Ro..."

"My pride just doesn't ever leave me alone." Virgil's eyes went wide as Roman jugged himself. "It's always there... pushing, prodding... I know why. It's trying to help. But... Pride is only good in moderation... just as anxiety is... just as deception is. Pride can only help when controlled."

"It's not controlled." Roman frowned as he nodded. "Roman, what's going on?"

"Remus." Roman let out a shaky breath as he laughed. "When Remus left he sent me spiraling. I still am. The fact that I wasn't even good enough for my own twin... I'm no good to anyone. I can't be a prince. I can't be there for people when I'm so fucked up. The dark side... That's PROOF I'm horrible at this job. Remus leaving was just the start of it." Roman's eyes darkened as he dazed out a bit. "Pride is there to help you feel better about yourself... to protect you from all the things you don't like. So... If I hate myself and feel unworthy of everything..." Virgil's eyes filled with horror as Roman just smiled. "...then obviously it would come out strong to try and... fix it all."

"Roman, do you seriously..."

"I locked you in a cell for calling me 'a prideful piece of shit'. I locked you in a cell for 3 days... for an outburst, you could not control. OUT OF EVERYONE... I am the one that should have understood." Virgil was just stunned in silence. "I can't help when I slip. I try so damn hard. I slipped so much on our trip to the dark side. You want to know what I was so afraid of..." Roman glared over at the other as he scoffed at himself. "I was afraid of slipping bad and ruining everything so much that there was nothing I could do to fix it. I mean... I called you all filth and taint... WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?! I AM a prideful piece of shi-..." Roman froze up, his teary emerald eyes wide in shock, as Virgil gripped his hands as tight as he could, a stern look on his face.

"Don't ever call yourself that."

"But it's tr..."

"Don't. ever. call. yourself that, Roman." Virgil reiterated as his eyes narrowed in a protective manner. "It is NOT true at all. Roman... You can't let pride control you."

"It's not that easy..."

"I know." Roman frowned as Virgil shifted to sit in front of him and smiled. "Roman, I know what it's like to have something weighing you down. I'm literally anxious. It's not easy. It's never going to be easy but that's what I'm here to help with. You just have to let me in to try."

"I'm not worth it." Virgil's heart literally broke as Roman tried to pull his hands free. Virgil's grip only tightened making Roman falter. "Virgil... I wasn't good enough for Remus. I wasn't good enough for the dark side. I'm not good enough for you and I'm certainly not good enough for Thomas. I can't be the prince everyone thinks that I am..."

"Roman, DON'T BE THAT PRINCE!" Roman froze as Virgil desperately clung to the man praying his words actually got through to him. "Don't be that prince. Be You."

"But... I'm not..."

"Roman Sanders, you are more than worth it." Roman's tears fell harder as Virgil just smiled as he brushed some away. "You took it upon yourself to bring those two boys here KNOWING Patton would take them in. You did that because YOU wanted to help."

"Of course, I did... They were alone... and hungry and... and..."

"And you did all you could to help them. No one told you to... In fact, I tried to stop you." Roman's gaze fell in thought as Virgil just sighed. "I can't force you to see yourself differently. It doesn't work. I know. But... I will tell you this. The Roman I met when I first came here... The Roman I've seen this entire time..." Roman cringed slightly as his eyes darted up only to hesitate at the smile Virgil had. "Is COMPLETELY different than the Roman I saw with those two boys."

"I don't... I don't understand."

"You did everything you could to keep them smiling and laughing, going so far as to make an absolute fool out of yourself. You dirtied your outfit in a dramatic show of woe, and did it all gleefully just to make them happy. That Roman... That Roman is someone I want to see more of. That Roman... is someone worth the effort I'm putting in to help." Roman subconsciously shifted to hold Virgil's hands in his as his eyes filled with a sort of relief yet disbelief.

"Do you... Do you really think that? That I'm actually..."

"Roman, you may not believe it... but you are a prince. A true one..." Virgil laughed softly as he just held Roman's hands close. "Once that pride is out of the way."

"Can you..." Roman tensed his grip tightening as his fear tore through him. A fear Virgil felt and understood. "Can... Can you help me?" Roman's eyes met his and it seemed like the second melted away. In that moment... those two understood each other better than anyone else ever would. Virgil smiled brightly as he nodded.

"Of course, Roman... We're partners after all."