Bad Rumors

33

Virgil sat there completely frozen just staring at nothing, unable to breathe as the feeling of drowning overtook him. He was dead. Or at least that's how he felt. His mind was going over everything, giving him all these visions of Roman that he loved so much only for his own voice to fill his head making it all crash. He could see Roman smiling at him. How he literally glowed and blushed as he helped him with the kids. The way he played with and teased the twins... The way he looked so fondly at him. 

The way he looked so broken the second Virgil started to yell at him.

"HOW COULD I DO THAT?!" Virgil screamed into his pillow as he sobbed. His heart was beating but his lungs wouldn't work. He heard the knock on his door but he didn't move. He didn't care. he knew it wasn't Roman at the door. He knew. If it wasn't Roman, then he didn't care. He only wanted Roman, but he went and fucked that up the second he told him to leave him alone.

No, he fucked that up the second he refused to listen. 

He knew... HE FUCKING KNEW... and yet he didn't care. He didn't listen. He just yelled at him. He did the one thing Roman desperately need him NOT to do. 

The door was knocked on again making Virgil sob louder as he just squeezed the pillow tighter. He could hear as the door creaked open. Patton... He's the only one with a key to every room. Seeing as how Virgil had locked the door, it's the only thing that made sense.

"Kiddo?" Virgil once again didn't move, his face buried deep into pillow suffocating, though unaware as the panic held him under. "Kiddo, come on. You don't need to stay locked up in here. You're not in trouble..."

"Not in trouble. Patton, I-..." Virgil's voice cracked as he looked up seeing the sadness in the father's eyes. "I yelled at him, Patton. I yelled at him."

"I know. I was there." Patton frowned as he slowly made his way in, closing the door behind him. "I won't lie, Kiddo. I thought you were being a bit harsh."

"A bit harsh?! Patton, I treated him like shit!" Virgil clutched the pillow to his chest as his panic only rose. "I didn't stop to think about anything. I just yelled at him. I... I knew better. I knew what his pride does to him."

"Kiddo..."

"Patton you don't understand. You don't know what his pride is!" Patton's eyes widened as Virgil's tears just kept falling. "I do. He told me. He told me why it's so bad. He let me in. HE BEGGED ME... begged me to help him." Virgil's eyes dazed as his tears only fell harder. "I told him I would help him."

"Kiddo, please-..."

"Patton, I should have understood. He tried to tell me but I was just so angry I didn't stop to listen. I even flat out told him not to blame his pride... He can't help it. He can't..."

"VIRGIL!" Virgil jumped making Patton sigh as he shook his head. "Kiddo, please breathe. You're panicking and I'm worried you'll make yourself sick. I understand you feel guilty. I can sense it. Your remorse is as true as my concern so I'm not upset. Please just... breathe and explain?" Virgil did as he was told and stopped to do some breathing exercises before wiping his eyes a bit and sighing. "Now. Please explain to me what happened out there?"

"I don't know what to say out there. I had a moment of... anger. I lashed out at him unacceptably."

"He wasn't exactly nice himself. What he did to that girl..." Virgil shook his head cutting Patton off who frowned. 

"It's not his fault, Pat. I knew something was going to happen. I knew he was going to break."

"What do you mean?" Virg stared at the pillow in his hands as he smiled sadly.

"Roman's pride is based on how he feels about himself, Patton. The worse he feels... the stronger the pride has over him." Patton's frown only grew as Virgil hesitated a bit. "He was in pain since I fucked up and... I don't know. He was being flirty with me. I could see that he had this look in his eyes and so I latched onto it to protect myself. Told him his pride was coming out and he took it the wrong way. It hurt him and... I tried to apologize but I couldn't and... and so I stayed away."

"How does him being flirty mean you..."

"I got anxious ok?" Patton nodded as Virgil quickly fired back before he could even finish. "I got anxious because of what he was saying. I care about him, Patton. I..." Virgil groaned as he looked down before closing his eyes. "I love him and got scared." Patton didn't bother to react. He could feel how Virgil's emotions were suffocating him. Now was not the time to bring attention to the confession. "He closed himself off after that. He was sick, Patton. You know? Right? He wouldn't eat. He wouldn't come out. I saw him before he left for his meeting and he looked about ready to pass out. I KNEW... I knew was going to break. But when it finally happened... instead of being supportive like I should have been... I was bitch and... FUCK!" Virgil yelled out as he raked his hands through his hair violently.

"Kiddo?"

"Roman's biggest fucking fear is abandonment." Patton's eyes widened in shock as Virgil broke down once again in tears. "He's terrified of those he cares about leaving him. I promised. I FUCKING PROMISED I WOULD BE THERE FOR HIM! I told him I would help. That he could lean on me... I told him I was his partner and that i would ALWAYS ALWAYS be there to help him if he needed me and I just... Fuck!" Virgil choked on his tears as he curled up against his pillow again. He fell over and just sobbed as Patton sat there unable to help. "I promised him I wouldn't leave him like Remus did and then turned around and told him I never wanted to see him again."

"I'm sure things will work out, kiddo. It might seem bad now but you two can work it out. I just know it." Virgil just laid there numb and broken as Patton sighed sadly. 

"Did he eat?" Patton frowned as Virgil's voice came out in a whispered rasp. "Roman... dinner... did he eat or did he just go to bed like I did."

"Roman went out for a walk after everything." Virgil's eyes filled with confusion before he glanced over to see the clock saying it was well past noon. 

"When did he come back? I hope he at least got some sleep." Virgil froze seeing the sad look Patton was giving him and he crashed all the more. "Patton? It's ok if he isn't. I mean... I hurt him. I know better than anyone how hard it is to sleep when your thoughts won't let you. I'm not..."

"Roman hasn't come back yet." Virgil's heart just dropped as Patton shook his head. "He never told me when he would."

"So Roman's just... gone?" Virgil's voice was hardly a squeak when Patton finally met his gaze. "He is coming back though right? I mean this Roman. He wouldn't just..."

"Honestly, Virgil... I just don't know."