Skybound [ MCSM Lukas x Reader ]

Chapter 13. Restricted Behavior

The subconscious mind.

Subconsciousness is the part of the mind that sorts out beliefs, fears, memories, etc. The difference that separates it from being 'consciousness' is because the subconscious is not something we are always aware of. For example, you can be talking with someone and feel as though they are a good person, but you're unconsciousness also gives you a feeling that they aren't. They aren't things we can typically explain, but they are feelings, emotions, and even fears that we experience whether we like it or not. Logically speaking it doesn't make sense to fear something smaller than you that is virtually harmless, and yet somehow we can experience fear. Logically speaking there isn't really any reason to hate anyone, and yet we make exceptions based on certain things that tick us off.

Although it seems as though the subconscious is meaningless, it greatly impacts the things you do. The mind may be controlled, but the subconscious is what works behind the scenes impacting every little choice, every little reaction you may have. If you develop a habit of tapping your finger, then your subconscious will be the one to continue that habit without you thinking about it. In matters of control, there isn't a solid way to control our subconsciousness considering we can't simply change our feelings to certain events or people immediately, much like how we can't simply get rid of a bad habit such as procrastination.

However, it is possible to change the subconsciousness over time, with the assistance of conscious thinking to steer away from those reactions and replace it with something else. In a sense, how we shape our subconsciousness is how we shape ourselves.

So having that consciousness taken away is pretty bad. 

CHAPTER 13. RESTRICTED BEHAVIOR

> [ Y/N's ] POV

The feeling was surreal, to say the least.

I knew I was in pain. I knew that my head felt like it was going to explode from that machine thing being latched onto my head like a leech, whatever that was, and I knew that it hurt. I could feel my entire head pounding from it all, almost making me want to take a fight or flight response. And yet...

I felt nothing.

Or at least, PAMA felt nothing. That's right. The thing that was on the back of my head connected me to that computer thing. That would explain a few things... why I felt nothing... but also why I was suddenly aware of everything. Even though I felt pain, it seemed practically drowned out by only hearing the words PAMA spoke. I couldn't even see through my own eyes, move my own body, hear through my ears, nothing I had 'belonged' to me anymore.

" You may not have any information about how to exit this world, but your brain may prove to contain OTHER useful items. " PAMA spoke, words that seemed to ring throughout my head without any other sound. " I know you probably feel uncomfortable. Concerned. " That was one way to put it... though I knew they weren't talking to me. How did I know? I wasn't sure myself. Or at least, that was before I really got connected.

It was an instant. One moment I felt as though I was in complete nothingness, the only thing that could be heard was the voice of PAMA. And next thing I knew a tidal wave of information came flooding to my mind, a tsunami of not only information that PAMA had gathered, but memories, feelings, emotions, entire minds of all those controlled by PAMA. I knew their names, I knew their faces, I knew their families, I knew their greatest accomplishments, I knew their darkest secrets, I knew everything. It was an endless stream of information going deeper and deeper to every single conversation, every single word said, every single thought they ever had, nothing was forgotten.

 And that was only the things in the mind, all at once, I could see everything. Everything that everyone chipped saw everything that they felt, even everything they heard. It was like being forced to watch the hundreds of screens of a security office, and I was collectively all the cameras. It was like my mind was being torn apart, on the very brink of being destroyed but barely keeping it together among the complicated threads of this mental structure. And although I knew everyone was forced to think the same things, I also knew their inner thoughts, I knew their fear and desperation to be free from PAMA, wanting to escape from their controlled minds. It was horrible, and it wasn't like I could just ignore it. In a way my empathy level was taken to the max considering when one person felt fear because we were all connected, so did everyone else.