The unbreakable

Focus

Patience Pov

    the word for the world is MOVING ON.  I found out that and order for someone to move on they must first tell their story, so this is me telling my story. Soo lets began where the world came crashing down on me.  The beginning of a new school year, I was going into the 8th grade getting ready for 8th-grade prom and all the other things that come along with being an 8th grader. In a teenager's girls' life, this was a big thing I was supposed to be the happiest, but you see that summer was rough for the Johnson family. That summer we had lost my uncle, he was the same age as my older brother, and we all were close. He was like another brother they bullied me but loved me. He was my favorite when I was down or couldn't sleep, he would help me sneak ice cream upstairs, and we would watch Finding Nemo. You see when he died that was the first time someone had ever died that close to me, and I was so hurt I start it eating my pain away. Which led to me getting bigger and taller, and everyone could notice even my own family. you would think them knowing how close we were that they would be understanding but no not my family they made it worst which made me eat more.  There were other reasons for me eating all the food and not talking as much. They had no idea that their little girl was not little anymore because she had someone take it from her. They had no idea that she was not talking because someone had taken her voice. Then again, they never asked they just assume it was because I couldn't keep my hands away from the table. They assumed the reason I stop smiling was that I had food in my mouth. They thought the reason I would stare into shape that I was thinking about something stupid not knowing that I was thinking of a way to scream and tell them to stop or that I was crying on the Inside. Something that a little girl should never have to go through.

                  I know some may ask why you didn't tell, why let it go on. Well, I say FUCK You and everything you stand for because there so much to the story no one knows. The ordinary person would say that telling someone was easy but the people who have been through the same thing would tell you that's easier said than done. But anyway, back to the story a month into the school year it had been three months and 2 weeks since my uncle had died. It was the first day I felt normal the first time I didn't cry when I woke up. It was also the day I had summed up enough courage to tell Damon how I truly felt. I promised uncle k that I would tell him this year when he had died. So, I told myself that I would tell him that year, or I was going to beat the hell out of myself.  today was the day there was no backing out this time. lunchtime came and at this point, I'd hyped myself up, I had already gone through the pros and cons of telling him and I had come to the conclusion that I need it to grow some balls as my big brother would say and stop being a pussy and tell the nigga how I felt. so, I was going to do just that I walked to the table which we all sit at and told him after school we need it to talk before my mom came. he said okay and smiled that smile I died over back then, that smile is what made me fall "in love" with him.

                After school came around this was it, I told myself this was the big moment. I saw him and the shit was like some movie scene. He smiled at me and then in came my "Close friend" Dejia. as she kisses him, I feel my smile drop and every bit of courage left my body. You see I forgot the one rule my mom told me, the snakes where not in the grass they were in your house.  she knew how I felt about that light bright ass nigga and here she was with her nasty ass lips on him. I looked again hopping that he would push her off and come begging me and telling me he would never. To my downfall he was there kissing her back.

       NOW Pause.... right here was the moment where I had to ask God to give me all the strength not to go to jail. It also was the point where I lost faith in love. all those Christmas movies and  love movies where wrong. there was no such thing as love it was only Lust. 

   At that moment I didn't know what I want it to do. in my heart, I was like ok P, let's go beat this hoe ass because she knew how I felt we had talked about him on the house phone the other day, but then my head was like mom told you never fight over no little boy because that makes you look stupid. After standing there for idk how long I was finally pulled out of my thoughts when one of the teachers said that my car was here. I had no idea that I had tears coming down my face till I touched my face. I snapped back into the real world and build up enough strength to walk pasted him. As I was walking, I saw him looking at me dead in my face and I saw his mouth moving but I couldn't hear what was coming out. So, I just walked as if I couldn't hear him as if he was not there. He grabbed my hand as I walked out, and I just looked at him and snatched my hand away from him and walked to the car. when I got there my brother didn't even ask if I was ok or why was I crying.  you see since my uncle's death; we hadn't really talked all we did was fight. It was like when I lost one brother, I lost the other. I wonder had he asked me would my relationship with him be better. So, as we get to the house, I see that there's another car there I immediately rolled my eyes because they always had somebody over and to be honest, I just didn't want to be fucking bothered. I just want it to go to my room and cry myself to sleep.

  As I walk in the house I'm greeted by my mom and dad and some ugly ass black nigga, walking into living room saying hey because if you were rested by a black mother, you knew if you didn't speak that's your ass. so I speak and my mother tells me this dude is going to be staying with us that this was my dad's cousin and I'm like the hell we don't have anywhere for him to sleep, and I sure was not giving up my damn room, but I just shook my head ok because I was ready to get the hell away from this dude, he was giving me bad vibes.  I ain't like the way he was looking at me. So, I said alright mom I'm about to do homework and call it a night she said alright, honey. as I'm going to my room my brother comes and asks if I was alright and how I felt about the dude. I told him I ain't really like his vibe but it's whatever. he just looked at me and nodded his head and walked out of my room.   getting in the shower my mind goes to Damon kissing that nasty ass bitch.  I know he single but damn he be kising on me sometimes and he knew that bitch be doing shit with her mouth.  I was hurt and confused because I knew he flirts with me, and he would call the house phone and we would talk until my mom told me to get off the phone she needs it to use it. So, for him to just kiss someone else and for that person to be my only friend at that got damn place was getting me to heat it.

                I was once again crying over this fuck nigga, and I bet he was not even thinking about me. so that night at that moment I promised myself that I wouldn't talk, look or be around him. I promise myself that I would never fall in love again I would never cry over a nigga and till this day I have kept that promise.