Samragyi Draupadi to Priya Panchali

17. Unspoken Emotions

Yudhishthir's POV:-

Some thoughts which we want to overcome, but our heart doesn't let us to relieve from that. Even with time, it remains as usual. Those thoughts, neither we can erase nor we can expose.

We pass one month in this woods. Just like other days, Panchali is busy with her kitchen works and one of us stays with her and the other goes for a collection of food and other things.

After a long time, I stay with Panchali, today. Actually, I don't have enough courage left to stay with her, to help her or to face her personally.
After overcoming a long dilemma I enter the kitchen to help Krishnaa if she needs any help. She has to complete all her household works alone, sometimes Bhim helps her in cooking. Though Bhim cooks excellent, we all admit it, still due to wife characteristics, she hesitates to take help from her husband in household chores. I look around the kitchen, she is cooking in her own thoughtfulness and singing a tune in low voice. All the foods, utensils equip her surrounding places, and she is lost in it.
Suddenly my eyes stuck on her back. Her veil has fallen down on the ground, and due to this her back is mostly visible. And a little down from the right shoulder of her back, a deep cut is visible. This cut is old but due to lack of treatment, the intensity of the wound is quite high, the surroundings of the cut turn blackish bruise and the clotted blood is still present on the wound.

"Krishnaa", I lost my control and say loudly.
She abruptly turns around, stands up leaving all her uncooked food, utensils fall from her lap, she picks her veil and put in over her head.
"Aarya, i-s any-thi-ng neede-d?", her voice tremble and walks towards me with a quite tensed face.
As she come closer to me, I pull her just in front of me with a jerk and say, "Yes, of course. You hide something from us."
"Aarya. I am-"
"Ssh, don't say a word, Panchali"
I know, I am becoming a little harsh to her, but I am loosing control over myself just like I loose myself on the Dyutsabha. That day, I can't protect her, but today it's my chance come again somehow to heal her pain little bit. And today I can't let it go.
"Put down your veil Krishnaa", I say slowly to her, keeping my right palm on her cheek.
"Aarya, wha-t hap-pen-? Wh-hy?", She utters in confusion. Or somehow a doubt strikes her. She clutches her veil tightly.
"Krishnaa, I have seen everything. Please don't-", my words lost their way to come out.
Initially, she looks at mine, then, put her veil down, finally, her eyes too look down at the ground.
I look at the wound. It is very much deep. I don't know how she tolerate the pain of this wound. She is excessive strong. I ask myself, "Is she really a lady with iron structure with a tender heart?".
I brush my fingers lightly around the bruise surrounding the cut.
she shrivels and squeezes her eyes, "Aah, don't touch", and scream in pain.
"It is paining and still you don't even tell us. Why?"
She remains silent for few moments, wipes her tears with her palm and say, "You didn't ask about the wound. When it happens? Who did this?"
I have no words to answer. I know all the answer. That day, Dusshasan did this. He did devilish torture to her.
"Aarya, you all care me a lot, everytime, everyday. But, Aarya, that day I wanted you. You know everything Aarya. That day, I don't even have strength to stand straight. I was in single dressed, menstrual attire, resting", uncountable drops of tears begin to flow over her cheeks, "You care me in little little things. But, they are not. He touched me over, where he shouldn't be-".
I hold her lips. I am unable to take this words anymore, her pain paining me too.
She rest those words. She is trying to console herself, "Aarya, I am not blaming you, and I shouldn't be."

Her words triggers my heart. My rage rise up at high. I look at Krishnaa's tear drenching face, her shivering slender figure with pain. I can't control myself. I pull her in my arms, tightly. My eyes, head is aching due to wrath.
"Aarya, stop Aarya. Don't rise your anger Aarya", she closes my eyes with her palm, "Close your eyes Aarya, be calm Aarya."
She looks at me and says, "Aarya, you can't loose control. If your wrath would be high, everything in front of your eyes would be destroyed. Aarya, you covered your eyes while leaving Hastinapur so that those evils can't became such victim of your wrath. So, Aarya, don't loose your idealism. It's your jewel and my, our pride".
I remain closing my eyes. My rage slows down but I can't dare to open my eyes. And Panchali too is in front of mine. I hold her palm and kiss on it.
She continues, "Aarya, I never blame you and will never be. You didn't have done any fault on that day, Arya, don't blame yourself."
She wipes her tears and mine too.
I open my eyes. My eyes are full with my Yagyaseni. The fire born princess of Panchal with faultless beauty, Krishnaa, the Samragyi of Aryavart. I loose my words, voice in one go.
We remain silent for sometime, looking at each other. I break the silence and speak, "Isn't it painful to bear these wounds and scars on your body and heart?"
"Yes Aarya", she nods her head, "It hurts Aarya, a lot".
"Then why you didn't tell us?"
"If you all stop loving me after discovering the scars on untouchable portion of mine, done by another man", she speaks in low and fearful voice.

"Is she feeling insecure?", I ask myself, "No no, she isn't", my heart corrects my thoughts, "I can't understand is it her fear of loosing again, or is it the love, which she wanting more and eternally".

"Kalyani, how it could be possible?", I ask her placing my palm under her chin and make rise her face, "The lady, our beloved, who stands everytime, in everything with us. How we could unlove you?We can't, never ever."

She hold one of my palm together, wrap it in her both palms, and place it near her throat. She is not crying, just looking lovingly at my arm. And I, holding her by wrapping one arm around her.
I let my tears to flow if these flowing tear can repair our scars.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸