Samragyi Draupadi to Priya Panchali

18. A Nightmare

Arjun's POV:-

Bring that slave in the court- by holding her hair- drag her to the court right now- strip her- she is just a-
"NOoo", I scream in the sleep. Again. It's repeating every day. I am sweating endlessly. It's extremely dark around. I drag my hand around me in search. She is not beside me. I sit down and turn my vision in surroundings in the darkness only in search of her.
"Krishnaa-", I utter in a little louder voice. My heart is beating faster, struggling for breath.
"Panchali", I call again by her name and get up at instant.
"Yes Arya", she replies. And few footsteps I hear. I run in that direction. And in darkness, just a little collision occurs between us. We hold each other in our arms.
"Are you okay Panchali?", I ask her immediately with my heavy shaky breath, putting my hand in her hair and touches the end of her cheeks.
"Yes, Arya-", she replies abruptly.
"What happened Arya?"
"Nothing", I reply.
I bit my lips, look upwards then run fingers through my front hair and exhale a gust of breath through my mouth.
"Arya, water?"
"Hmm", I reply. My mind is still is in the haunt. She brings the water in a tiny pot from the nearby pitcher and hands me.
"Arya"
I can't reply anything to her. I keep remain drinking the water.
"Is everything fine, Arya?",
She tries to cup my large face with her two small palms, after finishing the water.
"Hmm", while handing the pot I reply. She turns back to keep the pot at its position back.
"Please, don't go".
I can't stop myself to speak it out. An uneasiness surrounds me. I am losing control over mine, my thoughts, actions.
I don't know, what she understands, she just bends down and keeps the pot aside. And again she returns back in her previous posture.

Slowly, the darkness becoming adjustable. I can see now, the deep blue light from stars entering into the room through windows. And on that light, my blue lotus-like Krishnaa looking more dreamy.
I keep looking at her, her blue sapphire skin, two ruby lips, emerald eyes, pearl teeth, she is our precious gem, my precious ornament of heart.
"Krishnaa-", I amorously kiss on her chin, "I am affectionate on you". I grab her nape and open her veil.
"Arya-, wh-at you wann-a do?", She rolls her eyes and asks in a low voice. The curve in between her eyebrows clearly signing the significance of a quiet hesitation.
"Just want look at you, again and again. Hold you with mine, eternally".
I rest my chin on her shoulder. I close my eyes. Her mesmerizing aroma is drizzling around my nose. I breathe long and long to inhale that. I slowly begin to caress her partially bareback.

She squeezes her eyes all of sudden.
"Arya-", she opens her lips to tell something.
"I know", I stop her, "the wound", I tell the last word a little bit loud and prominent.
"I know- I know, Arya told you- and it's -", her voice shakes.
"It's? He did the correct, not you."
"He is always correct. I will definitely show the wound Arya Nakul and Arya Sahadev tomorrow, sure."
I nod my head up and down slowly.
Yes, he is. From childhood, Jyesth used to guide me in every aspect, each and every moment, in everything. Those days becoming clearly visible in front of my eyes.
"You know Panchali", I utter,
"Every day in Gurukul, Jyesth used to keep some laddoos for Bhim, sweets for Nakul, and the butter from the top of milk surface for me. As Kauravas used to snatch the excessive foods most of the day, and when tired we returned after our extra self-practice we used to missed to foods."
I sigh a long. The gloomy past crossing through my mind. Jyesth, my Jyesth, our Jyesth, whom I admire the most.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The pyre is burning on the bank of river Ganga. And we five are standing after a few hands distance from it. Mata is crying holding us together.
Kanisth Mata, Mata Madri come near us, kneel in front of Mata and us, take us in her arm, kiss on our head, forehead, cheeks again and again. Take bhrata Nakul and Sahadev in her arm and then says, "Don't detach yourself from your brothers. Always obey your Jyesth, will follow his orders, love each other at most. You are not five, stay as you are one. And will follow your Mata Kunti's every order. Don't do silly things."
"Mata, we will. But why you are saying so. We do this everything which you tell", Nakul says in a confusion.
"I am going near your father. Your father is alone there", Mata replies with tearful eyes.
"Ok mata, don't be tensed. Take care. You will be always with us, in our hearts forever. And one day, we will meet again", Sahadev replies.
These words make us realise that though he is the youngest, he is more mature than us. He is different.
"Jiji, leaving my two sons, I am bidding farewell near you. I know, you can take their care more than me, you won't be partial, maybe I would."
"Don't say so, my sister", Mata Kunti hugs Mata Madri. And closing her eyes, she nods her head.

Jyesth holds our hands and takes us to the cottage back. Bhrata Bhim is a very emotional person, he takes Nakul and runs inside the room, and locks it. Sahadev alone walks into the nearby woods, where he used to sit under a big tree and start looking at the sky, as he can see every perspective of time.
I and Jyesth remain there. I saw Mata sitting in the fire keeping father's head on her lap, burning at a glance.
That scene, I can never forget. I clutch my Jyesth tightly. And he too senses me. He holds me too tightly, as tight as he can.
"Don't cry my dear, you are my brave brother. Don't cry."
I remain crying and he is constantly consoling me.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"The day, Pitashree died and Mata Madri too committed Sati, both were burning in the same pyre. I cried a lot that day, whole night in Jyesth's arm." I take a long breath.
He supported us a lot, still, he didn't break down. From that day, he is supporting, caring us in his arm just like a huge tree and we are just like creepers standing by holding him."
My eyes turning misty. To control it, I gulp again and again. Krishnaa holds my both palms with hers, reading my untold condition with her mind.
"But Panchali, I have never seen him breaking down, never, until that day".
Warm tears run down my cheeks.
"I had seen him repenting. I had seen him crying silently. I saw my helpless Jyesth".
The constant tear drops block my vision, still I manage to see her. Krishnaa is looking at my eyes in a vague look. Her eyes turning misty or maybe she has no drops remain in her eyes to shed.
"Krishnaa, did we have any fault in our love? If yes, I am sorry dear, I- we love you with our full, we have nothing to give you, just love. Trust us again. Please".
My throat breaks all its boundaries and speaks everything out, which I just want to confess, our helplessness. Everything. We don't have anything to regift her everything which we stake and lost.
She shook her head in negation.
My limbs loosen and I sit down again in the darkness.

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Draupadi's POV:-

What Arya speaks today, makes me more and more numb. My Arya(s) feeling a lot of guilts, knowing this still I can't do anything. Just a console, if it can give temporary healing.

I take Arya's head on my arm.
"Don't feel so Arya. I know you all love me at most. I don't want anything other than you (all)."
I can feel droplets in the lap of the eyes.
"Is that nightmare again? Arya?"
He nods and breaths.
"Trying to strip me"
"Nooo", he hugs me with his full power, "No, it can't be again", his palms randomly move over my face, hairs, and shoulders.
"Arya, I am here, near you".
He remains silent, I remain silent. Just the cricket's sound is audible.
After a long moment, I try to break the hug for sake of sleeping. But he doesn't let me do so. While enclosing myself, he presses my back with his palm and pulls me close near to him, again.
"Don't dear, I feel safe while keeping you in my arm".
I nod my head. I slowly murmur touching my head on his broad chest, "In the wrap of your arms, I- I feel the safest".
I feel several soft kisses on my head and forehead simultaneously.

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