What Are We? (Jeff x BEN)

Ch. 12 "A what?"

❗❗!!!Self-Harm!!!❗❗
Jeff's Pov

Boredom was all I felt. My eyes burned into the ceiling and the giggles of River was the only thing I could hear. 'What is this feeling?' I thought to myself. River's giggles slowly stopped and I looked over. She had fallen asleep while she was playing with her teddy bear. I picked her up and placed her in her crib. Stuffing my hand into my pocket I decided to take a walk around the woods to take my mind of the feeling.

I close the door, taking a deep breath, I start towards a tree I have climbed and sat on many times. The tree had my initials in it to signify it was mine. But, I doubted people actually saw it. I climbed up to a thick branch and stared at the few birds that flew around the woods. The sky was staring to turn a peach to a deep blue. The air was cold and tender. 'I will just ask someone later' I rest my arms behind my head and leaned back onto the tree.

Tears brimmed my eyes. I took out my knife and rolled up my sleeve. 'Why did I do it?' I sliced one cut. 'He must have hated me so much during that' I sliced two. 'I loved him but...' I sliced 4 more and dropped onto my knees, dropping the knife in the process. 'I RUINED IT' Tears streamed out my strained eyes. My frown painful from the cuts on my cheeks. My hands tangled my hair from grapsing so harshly and my nails dug into the palm of my hands. The pain in my chest grew. I jumped down the tree and ran. I didn't know where I was running to, but I ran. My legs ached and my throat burned. My vision blurred as I collapsed on the ground. 'Goodness...Im a mess...'

After regaining my breath I looked up and saw houses. Many houses. Thankfully nobody was awake and out right now. I pulled my hood up and walked to a store that I saw. Once I entered I went around and searched for something to conceal my face better. My eyes landed on a plain black mask. I grabbed it and stuffed it into my pockets making sure a camera hadn't seen me. I looked around some more and shook my head as I left, trying my best to seem casual.

I walked around for a bit and watched as frustrated parents and their loud kids walked by. The desire to stab them all was unbearable. I walked to a much more secluded area and decided to calm down in an alley. A sigh of relief escaped my slit mouth. The sound of cars in the distance and few birds were oddly relaxing. Suddenly the sound of running startled me. I looked to my left and saw what appeared to be a holding a knife.

"What do you want dude." I asked. He stepped a step closer, causing me to place my hand on a pocket knife i randomly have. They seemed to stare and a small gasp escaped their mouth. My eyes squinted, all I was able to make out was scars and green eyes. If my eyes could have widened, they would have. 'Liu...' We stared at eachother for a while before he ran. I didn't go after him. 'Just a coincidence... Plus I need to relax before getting back.'

I shoved my other hand in my pocket and started walking back to the mansion, planning to calm down on the way there instead. The leaves under my feet crunched and pine leaves stabbed my arms a bit. 'Was that really Liu?' My mouth slightly frowned. 'I'd rather have him dead than live with a reminder on his face that Jeff was a monster. They both had to live with scars on their face. Scars Jeff himself caused...' Slight tears fell from my eyes. I arrived at the mansion and went in. "Ayo Jeff. BEN is angry you left River alone. Careful" My stomach dropped. "Oh shit" I said. I walked to my room slowly and nervously. I opened the door and saw BEN waiting there with River in his arms.

"Think about what you did and come back when you have a good excuse." I nodded quickly and closed the door. Splendor walked by and looked at me. "Come with me!" He took my arm and took me to his tea room.

He sat me in a chair and then sat down himself. "I know you have a bothersome question on your mind. Mind telling me?" Splendor asked. I looked down at the table cloth, hesitating. My face felt tingly and my heart clenched. "Well...Everytime I see or think about BEN, my heart, face and gut feel weird. I also tend to have trouble forming sentences in certain situations." Splendor placed a tendril to his chin. He gasped a bit. "You have feelings for BEN!!!" My throat tightened and I stiffened. 'NO. I WILL HURT HIM IF I LOVE HIM' My lip quivered a bit and my eyebrows twitched. Splendor sighed and placed his tendril on my shoulder. "You seem to fear harming him. Right?" I nodded.

"Well if you think about it, you have already changed his life to something way better and much more magical Jeffrey. You gave him a daughter and soon, you will give him a ring!" I looked up him, my mouth slightly open. "A what?"