•Karasuno First Years•

•slitting throats and jeffery dahmer•

Karasuno First Years

Hinata - Y'know, now that I think about it..people slitting the front of someone's throat is actually really improbable, given a bone is actually blocking the spot that most see in movies and tv shows. If, in fact, a movie wanted to be more realistic, they would cut the sides of the throat because the main artery sits in that spot instead of the front.

Tsukishima - you know this much about slitting throats, yet you still fail all of your classes.

Yamaguchi - I had a dream once that I was a hitman, and there was someone after Tsukki, trying to get me to kill him, so then Tsukki, you, Kageyama and I had to run away and we went on this huge adventure and you and I killed a bunch of people-

Hinata - Thats- Why cant I have dreams like youuu

Tsukishima - its very concerning that you dreamt about killing people and being a hitman, yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi - Yeah, it was really weird. Hinata and Kageyama were dating.

Hinata - Oh- we were?? Kageyamaaa

Kageyama - no.

Hinata - But- marriage.

Kageyama - no.

Hinata - sad.

Yamaguchi - You guys are really...pathetic sometimes.

Hinata - YAMAGUCHI BBY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME 😭

Yamaguchi - OH NO BABY I WASNT TALKING ABOUT YOU ❤️

Tsukishima - again, why am i..friends with you all?

Kageyama - since when we're we friends?

Hinata - Since you two fuCkeD-

Yamaguchi - Pfft- I feel like they would be friends with benefits, right?

Tsukishima - no.

Kageyama - not at all.

Hinata - they only have the benefit part.

Yamaguchi - Enemies with benefits.

Hinata - Yeah!

*Tsukishima and Kageyama are offline*

Hinata - Ooh, you know what that means, Yams?

Yamaguchi - ofc I do!

Hinata - Weirdly enough, the British Empire in the 1800's had hangings down to a perfect system. They knew exactly how long to set the rope based off of size and weight of the condemned to achieve the perfect neck break each time.

Yamaguchi - That's concerning, Jeffery Dahmer tried to make "sex zombies" out of some of his victims by drilling holes into their heads while they were still alive and pouring acid into the holes.

Hinata - Ohh! I was listening to a podcast yesterday that mentioned that! His last victim escaped, but had this done to him, and when he tried to tell police, he couldn't physically communicate that he had been abducted and tortured. Dahmer caught up with him and convinced the police that the boy was just tired and needed some rest. They agreed, and escorted Dahmer and the boy back to his house. Worst thing is, they did check his house, but not his bedroom, where there was a rotting corpse.

Yamaguchi - Are you serious?!

Hinata - Yeah! Its disgusting!

Tsukishima - i think you two should get off the internet for the day, its rotting your brain. why would anyone want to talk about serial killers?

Yamaguchi - I dunno, maybe I'm just bored of talking about dinosaurs all the time.

Hinata - Oh shit- Kageyama get on here.

Kageyama - what? oh-

Tsukishima - come on, ive been teaching you this. you need more than just one line, unless its a super good one-liner.

Yamaguchi - Okay, so how about this?

Hinata - I dont like how long its taking him to type this.

Tsukishima - shut up, its gonna be good.

Yamaguchi - liSTEN HERE YOU TALL FRENCH FRY LOOKING ASS BITCH I CAN HAUL YOUR ASS INTO YOUR GRAVE AND BODY SLAM YOU EVEN HARDER THAN DAICHI. I CAN AND WILL WHOOP YOUR TALL SCRAWNY ASS. I SWEAR I CAN BODY SLAM YOU HARDER THAN KAGEYAMA CAN POUND YOUR ASS INTO BED BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE A BRATTY BOTTOM. I WILL MAKE SURE TO HAUL YOUR ASS INTO YOUR GRAVE AND BURY YOU FIFTEEN FEET UNDERGROUND, DEEPER THAN ANY DICK YOU'VE TAKEN SO REMEMBER THIS NAME BITCH. YAMAGUCHI TADASHI BECAUSE I WILL BE THE REASON YOUR SAD EXISTENCE ON THIS PLANET WILL BE CUT SHORT.

Yamaguchi - Was that good enough..?

Tsukishima - i...

Hinata - HAHA HE CALLED YOU A BRATTY BOTTOM!

Tsukishima - i dont...did you just compare you body slamming me to the king pounding into me because im a bratty bottom?

Yamaguchi - Yess?

Hinata - Was he wrong though?

Kageyama - ithinkimgonnaleave

Tsukishima - ...yeah same.

*Tsukishima and Kageyama are offline*

Hinata - Kageyama totally topped.

Yamaguchi - Absolutely.

~I have no idea what happened to this chapter, it's 9:37 am and I havent slept, so I'm running on like twenty hours without sleep- Anyways-

Thanks for reading!

Anti~