His Pain, My Pain

My Pain: Chapter Eighteen.

Suhaiba.

"Let's say I don't agree...What happens next?" Atiku asks me.

"I do it either way".
"How? If I don't agree? How can you possibly do it without my consent?"

"You need therapy".
Suddenly he gets angry "I'm done with therapy!" he says almost as a yell.

"Why?"
"I have been doing therapy all my life and I'm done with it".

"Was that why you left when we were in school?"
"Isn't that obvious?"

"What was it like?"
"Don't ask me stupid questions Suhaiba! Not today! Not ever!" he walks out angrily.

I follow behind him "So you don't want to tell me? Why not?!" I ask angrily.

"Suhaiba you better stay quiet" he says still walking to his room.
"And if I don't? I can't keep living this life, not with someone who doesn't give a crap about me. If you had known this was how you were going to treat me then why get married to me?"

He stops and turns to look at me "I never got married to you, you got married to me. You practically forced yourself on me and now that you find out I can't love you, you blame me? I won't go for therapy because not even that torture can ever make me love you, Never. So it's better you get that in your thick skull".

I start crying, hearing those words hurt really badly, how could he say something so hurtful.
"Don't waste your time crying, it means nothing to me" he walks in and slams the door in my face.

.....

Kamal.

"Yo!" Salim says walking in like the house belonged to him.

He freezes when he sees me "I thought you weren't around" he says looking guilty.

"My house? You're surprised to see me in my house?"

"Yeah because Laura, your wife called me and told me to get here urgently, that you weren't around and she can't reach you. So coming inside and finding a tall man sitting in the dark is kind of scary".

"When did you get back and how did she know?"
"Ya Kamal IG stories exist".

"I know".
He sits across me.
"Where is your bride anyway?"
"She's off to see Umaima".

"When did they become good friends kumah?"
"She's Abdullahi's wife so it was bound to happen".

....

Suhaiba.

We sit on the couch.
"What was so urgent that you're here by 10am?" I ask Umaima.

"I have a theory".
"And what's that?"

"Okay but you can't say it doesn't make sense, promise?"
"I can't promise but I'll try not to".

"Fine" she huffs "I think Abdullahi is cheating on me with Amina".

"Amina? As in Meema's mother Amina?"
She nods "Yes".

I try not to sound too quick to judge but she lost me from the very first sentence, no matter what she says.

"Umaima, why do you think that?"
"Abdullahi's phone. I checked it and--" I cut her off.

"You went through his phone?"
"Yes but that's beside the point".

"Really? Then continue".
"Well he never leaves his phone locked, probably because he trusts me. And last night he came to make tea in the kitchen but left his phone behind when he went back to his room. I did a little digging and I find out that Amina is the only person he answers. There are alot of missed calls from you, Mama, baba, me and even Kamal and I know he intentionally leaves them to ring out but the only person he always picks up is Amina and her alone".

"When did you start thinking of something this crazy?"
"It's not crazy and it was after your meet up last week. I always noticed that when Amina and Abdullahi are in a room you can feel the tension and sometimes they talk like their dating".

"I have been in the same room with them both more times than I have alone" I exaggerate to make a point sometimes.

"That's why you have been having problems with him, he didn't leave his phone unlocked because he trusts you. It's because he's testing you, Ya Abdullahi has never been the type to put passwords on his phone or laptop. He deliberately kept it in the kitchen so you would check it and you did. One thing I know about him is that he hates when people go through his stuff, which you've just done".

"I know what I'm saying. You said it yourself he doesn't put passwords then why put it on his laptop".

"Because it's his and he does not need to explain it to anyone? Or even because his wife goes through his things thinking she has become some type of detective. Look Umaima I really I'm in no mood for baseless and useless theories right now".

..

Suhaiba.

Being completely honest I think Atiku is my Karma. I don't know for what but I think he is.
All I'm trying to do is help my husband but he doesn't want my help but as his wife I'll still try so I did the unspeakable.

"Suhaiba? It's a surprise to see you here" He says when I walk inside his office.

"Yeah. Like I told you over the phone, it's really urgent". I say when I sit.

"Okay then. What's wrong?"
"Alexithymia. Have you heard of it?"

"Yes I have. There aren't much cases of it worldwide"
"Atiku has Alexithymia".

"What? Your husband Atiku?"
"Yes and please I need your confidentiality. No one knows apart from his parents"

"Okay".
"What can I do to help?"
"Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it, no therapy. The patient can only be taught the basic aspect of emotions, things like when to cry, when to smile, when to joke, when to frown. How to care, love and be taught never to hurt people and how to know and understand people's emotions and all of that should be done when the patient is a child, if not that person could be dangerous. But don't worry I'm sure he knows all that".

"So there's nothing I can do?"
"Unfortunately yes, just don't aggravate him. No matter what" he warns.

"Thank you, can you please not tell Amina about us meeting".
"Sure".

....