39. the hardest lesson

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I didn't sleep that night

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I didn't sleep that night. I was so angry and worried. Nicholas had called to ask if he could come over so we could talk. He had called at five in the morning and I gathered that he hadn't slept well that night either.

I was agonizing over what to say when the elevator dinged, worried I would be walking on eggshells and one wrong move and our relationship would go down the drain.

"Hi," Nicholas said as he stepped out of the elevator.

"Hi," I said back sheepishly. We stood like that in the foyer with neither one of us talking for what felt like forever. Both of us refusing to break the silence in fear of digging a bigger hole.

Normally, I would've been worried that my father or any of my siblings would walk in on me and Nicholas just standing there, but all of my siblings were off with their significant others celebrating the holidays by themselves. And my father had gone to Richmond to visit some of his family. He had called and said he was sorry for the ambush and that we would talk as soon as he got back to figure out what we would do next.

I wasn't sure there would be anything left but scraps to deal with by the time he returned.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you last night," Nicholas whispered so quietly I wasn't sure I heard him right.

"I'm sorry I yelled to," I said looking up at him. We hadn't fought like this in a long time. I gestured to the loveseat in the living room and we both moved to sit.

"Look, Brooke," Nicholas started, grabbing my hands. I let him. "I'm not asking for you to agree to marrying me. I don't even need you to really be my fiancée but please, just do this to appease out parents. If we don't, my entire family business with go to Ben and—"

"Hang on, the argument you're going with is business and Ben?" I said, angrily removing my hands from his as if they were on fire. "I'm supposed to compromise my feelings and who I am for your business?"

"Brooke, it's always been about business," Nicholas responded. Wrong answer.

"Everything? This whole relationship?" I challenged.

"No Brooke, that's not what I meant," Nicholas tried to backtrack.

"I think it's exactly what you meant. This whole relationship was founded on business. We grew closer together because of business. We started dating because of business," I listed, rage brewing inside of me.

"Brooke—"

"No. If you care about your business so much then go as Kate to marry you. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to say yes. And then you and the Abbott's can merge your companies seeing as that's the only thing you seem to care about," I said. I knew it wasn't fair to throw Kate in there like that. I knew she would never do that, but I was angry and hurt.

"You're not thinking rationally. You know that if our family companies don't merge, the Abbott's will be able to buy us all out," Nicholas said. Continuing on his spiel about business was not helping his case in my book.

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