The Lies You Tell

" HąʑɛƖ "

It had been a couple of months of me and Shawn talking, she wasn't from here, she's originally from Detroit, Because of her driving from state to state, she'd always travel, she was a truck driver for Coca Cola.

The only thing I couldn't shake, was the love I had for Briel.. don't get me wrong Shawn was cool!
But everything she did reminded me of Briel.
Their birthdays was literally days apart, they acted alike, it was crazy how they had so much in common.

" What we doing today? You tryna go out to eat?"
Shawn didn't have much time in town so she was trying to do everything in a matter of a couple hours

" Not really! I rather cook!"
I was NOT trying to be seen with the same girl who Briel thought I was fuckin, and now we're talking..

"Tati what are you doing?!"
I whispered to myself

"Damn Tatiana! You know I'm not gone be here for long! I'm trying to spend as much as time with you!
But you keep pushing me away! Is this about Briel?"
Shawn knew what it was about.

Of course ima lie! cause I don't wanna talk about Briel! That's all she do is throw up Briel! And she's the reason why we broke up.
" Here we go again! Next subject Shawn!"

After going on the date we get home.
Of course she's in the mood to fuck!
But we've never gotten that far, cause I avoid it.
"I really don't think I'm ready for thi..."

She kisses me, " Muah!"

"Shawn! This is not the time!"
As she Caress my body and gets me in the mood..

"Uhhhhhh! Shh......"
"Mmmmmm"
I wouldn't say she was the worst, but nobody made my body do what Briel makes it do..
I'm trying my best to not think about her..

All you here is smacking, eating, groaning..
My mind goes blank, I'm use to being coached and talked to,

Shawn was quiet..

...........................

I black out..

"Uhhhhhh! Bri....Uhhhhhhhh!
Not thinking anything of it,
her mouth stops moving!..

"What the fuck you just called me?"
Pushing me completely off of her

"So you thinking about her that much!
You calling me her name ?!"

Shawn liked me, but she knew what came with me
She knew I wasn't ready to be with anybody else
Me and Briel has been together on and off 3years
It's not that hard to let that go.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to Shawn!
I told you I wasn't ready for us to do this!
But you insisted"

Understanding I was completely wrong,
I shouldn't be entertaining this girl.
Knowing my heart belongs to someone else.
We fight, argue and break up.. but I still love her.

"So you just gone use me as a substitute until you and her get back together right?"
I told Shawn a lot about Briel,
before we started talking..
my emotions were everywhere

"I'm not using you Shawn!
I told you what it was!
You kept forcing us to be something now you mad?!
Getting up out the bed

"You can't force nobody to do something they don't wanna do! It takes two to mingle! I'm in your house! How the fuck you think I got in....
you let me in.. so you apart of this too!
Shawn wasn't no dummy, and wasn't about to be played like a fool

"Mccht! Whatever Shawn!
Yes you're here because I allowed you to be here!
I didn't wanna have sex Shawn!
I'm not ready for allat!"
Getting bothered,
because she don't see my point of view

" If you ain't want nothing with me, why am I here Tatiana? You so stuck on ya fuckin past that you treating me like her.
Shawn was Delirious.

                           *Incoming Text*
Briel: Tatianna I know you see me calling and texting you! How long you gone ignore me?
Me: Briel I don't have nothing to say to you!
You was done then be done now!

Shawn grabs my phone, 
"What a coincidence the person we're arguing about is the same person your texting"

Shawn throws my phone
"You used me to get over her!
Now you want her back?! 
I should of know this shit would happen!

She walks out the house and slams the door.