Falling for Secrets | Goggles x Rider | Splatoon Manga Ship Story

Ch.19 Empty

The team leader looked back once more to seeing Goggles steadily walking home with Bobbles barely keeping up with his pace.

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„Why the rush?", Bobble Hat asked confused.

Goggles just wanted to get out of here. It was starting to get too much for him, Specs continuous questions and not leaving him alone after failing to convince his team leader he was fine just fed into the blue boy's already overwhelming anxiety. He just wanted to get home and be alone as quickly as possible.

„Goggles?", Bobbles asked a bit worried, now falling behind.

He slowed down a bit to let her catch up. Goggles didn't want her to think he was mad at her or something, if anyone, he was mad at himself. Mad at continuously worrying his friends, mad at not being the person others expected him to be anymore, mad at hiding his feelings and mad at falling back into old habits.

The two somewhat awkwardly trotted along each other's side not exchanging any words. It was probably for the best, this day was already exhausting enough for the blue inkling. Although Bobbles glanced over at him from time to time, she still didn't say anything as if she got the message, but her friend wasn't really sure about that. Specs didn't get it either, so why her?

As soon as they finally entered their house, Goggles was ready to run to his room without removing his coat for obvious reasons. He was already on his way when his roommate quickly stood in front of him, blocking his path to the hallway.

Bobble Hat firmly grabbed both of his shoulders with a serious look on her face and something in Goggles snapped.

„Please, just leave me alone!", he said desperately, letting his frustration take over. A moment of silence.

„It's okay", Bobbles began speaking softly with a sympathetic expression. „Whatever you're going through, you can talk to us. I noticed you today and yesterday, I just didn't want to call you out, you know? And maybe you were just tired but now I kind of doubt that. I can see that you're down, don't try to hide it, please"

Tears started to form in the blue boy's eyes. Why was he about to cry when he was reassured by a friend? Wasn't he supposed to be happy about that? But before he could say anything, Bobble hugged her roommate tightly. Goggles felt even more horrible. The people he loved were worried about him and he couldn't do anything to change that since he didn't know how to 'fix himself'.

What was wrong with him anyways? Why did all the feelings come crashing down so suddenly? Where did he go wrong?

Bobble Hat was the one who eventually broke the hug. Goggles smiled at her faintly and carefully pushed past her to get to his room. He closed the door behind him and wanted to break down, but couldn't. He just felt numb. He wiped his tears away before they could fall down any proceeded to change into the next random long-sleeve shirt he found.
„Never again...", he whispered to himself. „Never am I letting them worry over me again"

———— Time skip ————

It was later that evening, Goggles just got ready for bed after having dinner with Bobble Hat because she had asked him to come eat with her. He would've never gotten up on his own but he couldn't just say no to her offer.

The blue boy tucked himself in and looked out the window, he didn't close the blinds yet. Looking at the stars, he wondered when he would see Rider again. He actually thought about him a lot these days. This really surprised Goggles, but he came to the conclusion that it must be because his lime friend treated him nicer and with much more care lately and especially more than others.

But maybe that's just because Rider was the only one who Goggles showed his true feelings to, even if unintentionally. He continuesly thought about telling others aswell, but the blue inkling still feared their reaction. What if my positive outlook on the world and people was the only reason they stuck with me?

He closed the blinds and tried to fall asleep. Goggles couldn't shake this bitter feeling of loneliness as he laid there facing the wall staring into the darkness. He didn't usually think this way but sharing a bed with Rider for two nights in a row must've changed the way he was feeling about his now way too empty bed. Goggles scrambled parts of his blanket together and hugged it, but it was not the same. There was no bodily warmth or a hand caressing his head. Nobody hugging back.

The blue inkling suspected he liked Rider more than he would've thought but he simply didn't want to admit it to himself. Rider would never love him back... But what if...?
...No. What would his teammates think?

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Heyy! Next chapter, ayyy?
I can't really say much about it... so what about... a question?
Q: Whose perspective would you want in the next chapter? Let me know in the comments!

23.07.2020
866 words