The Duns

Safe and Not Safe

Chapter Thirty-one

Peter

She nestles into my shoulder and I put an arm around protectively. As the day proceeds, the golden sun sinking slowly into the trees around us, birds settle into their homes, and watch confusingly as to why our faction proceeds.
In just a few more hours, we would have finished half of our journey, thus letting go of ten of our vehicles to camp on a clearing somewhere over there.

I look at her pale, innocent, fighter's face and wonder if what I'm doing is right, if this decision (based loosely around my ego) was the right one to take.

Every time I glance at her, even for a second, I am reminded of the secret I'm keeping- a secret of life and death. Is that why Countess Eliza was so insistent on riding in the first carriage? Because she couldn't bear the guilt that would run over her whenever she looked at Catherine?

I sigh and pull Catherine closer, her head lying peacefully on my chest, her hand resting next to it. I look down at our tangled feet; my hands so tightly bound around her waist, and tug her closer still.

"What's the big secret then?" Max asks me, whispering, as he comes over to the other end of the wagon. I shake my head; no. Max shrugs and settles down on my right. "It's about her, isn't it?"

"Max, not now." It isn't about her, though; it's about me.

He seems reluctant but decides not to argue and then playfully puts his head on my right shoulder. I smile and place my free right arm around his broad shoulder and he puts his on to mine, which I pull off gently because it's much too close to Catherine for me, and in these last few days, I want her all to me, just me, and I'm unwillingly to share her with anyone else.

-

I jump off the carriage to oversee the last ten wagons dropping off. We can't wait for long enough to see them actually settle down though, and this upsets some broken families as they wipe away tears of love and fear from each other's cheeks.

A bright spark keeps thumping against my heart, a reminder of what happened a long time ago, a reminder of the people I lost.

-

Flashback

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop the salty water that was rolling down my cheeks, my legs couldn't hold up my body anymore. My mother's death left me lost.

And then I saw her break down, her body crumbled up against the floor, leaning pathetically against the doorframe; I saw her dead parents tied up tightly to the chairs. I saw their red blood dripping off their cut bodies; I saw the pool it formed in the middle of the room. I saw her beg, plead, for them to come back.

I don't think I could bear this much blood once more, it took my life at Oi Alloi, my everything, to walk away from each bloody scene I left- and there were quite a few. Fortunately my conversation will Eliza earlier will help me get through this.

-

"We're here." She says softly into my ear and I jerk up immediately. I smile at her and look over to the others. They are already gathered up outside the wagons, talking, planning, discussing, and settling down into our new home for the next three days.

I inhale deeply and then get up, allowing the breath to make its way out slowly as I jump off the carriage with my bag, and then turn to help Catherine down. I turn to find she's standing beside me already.

Her entire body looks fragile, brittle, as if it would break into a million pieces by just one strong thrush of wind. Her body trembles slightly, and she pulls herself together as if she was feeling cold. I frown and look up at her face.