APEX LEGENDS ONESHOTS - <3

crypto, f

how does crypto react to cat ears?
now playing chocolate disco, perfume

"and now we wait."

caustic whispered to you, as you peeked into crypto's room, his coffee sitting on his desk before he finally took a sip of it, causing you and caustic to high-five.

you're probably wondering:
"how did crypto end up in this mess?"

let me explain to you, dear reader.

you see, you wanted revenge on crypto for hacking into your phone, finding all your baby photos and leaking them to the other legends and this seemed to be the perfect thing, even caustic agreed to help as the man of science he was.

and that's basically it,
you just wanted your revenge, so you decided to spike his drink to turn him into a cat.
yep.
that's right.

a cat.

your deepest desires had already taken over you as you noticed him starting to jump at the slightest things, even the quietest thump would cause him to quickly whip around, looking around for the cause of the noise.

a few hours later, you had forgotten about the whole revenge plan and crypto had just woken up from a well deserved nap (he needs rest, mans just found out his sister is alive) whilst you were busy scrolling through instagram.

a sudden yell came from crypto's room.

"y/n! what in the name of the ALLFATHER have you done to me?!" raising an eyebrow, you looked over to his room, where the door was wide open and the man himself stood there, black cat ears lowered in anger. the memories came flooding back, causing your eyes to widen.

looking over to caustic, he had the same reaction, only he was holding in his laughter.

"what, the fuck, have you done to me?" he asked again, which caused caustic to burst out into laughter as you stood up, rushing over to pet him. crypto quickly grabbed your wrists before you could, resisting whilst you fought back.

"awh come on lil kitty! lemme just pet one ear-!"

"내리세요! you can think twice before you're even touching my head!-"

"don't test me you wack ass hoe! let me stroke your cat ears!-"

"뭐?! who are you calling a wack ass hoe?!" the two of you continued to argue, before you managed to graze your hand against the fur, the contact enough to send you into a frenzy.

"they're so soft! awh come on cryppie, just one little pet?" you begged, giving him the cliché puppy dog eyes as he gave in, letting you gently stroke said ears.

all he could feel was straight euphoria, the pleasure causing him to softly purr.

"y-you're purring!-"

"l-look, does it matter?! get on with i-it already.." he trailed off, pressing his head into your hand as you continued to gently scratch the back of his cat ears.

"mirage here to save the day and!- oh." elliott entered the dropship, noticing the two of you and especially crypto, his eyes flickering between the two of you. "i'm not seeing things right? cryppie definitely doesn't have cat ears.. right?"

"fortunately-"

"UNfortunately-"

"shushhh crypto, fortunately these are real. i spiked his coffee." the sudden confession made his ears perk up slightly, slapping your hand away.

"you did WHAT?!-"

"oh come on, you're not dead at least. caustic helped me." you rolled your eyes as mirage stared in confusion still.

"i think.. i think i'll just leave and enjoy my pork chops somewhere else." he nervously laughed, slowly backing out of the room before fully leaving, only the three of you left in the dropship.

"well.. i uh.. can i still.. pet you?" shyly edging your hand towards his ears, crypto grit his teeth, before smacking said hand away, leaning away from you.

"don't even think about it."

- - - - - - - - - -
last song - pause - next song

this was really fun to write 😚 imagine crypto getting a skin where he actually has cat ears 😳😳 i'd be full simp mode and be BUYING that skin INSTANTLY

sorry for it being short my little legends :') 💕 next update on thursday will either be:

caustic, f

or

crypto, m

i still have a lot of chapters planned for this book, so be on the look out!

i love u all 💕💕
this is agape, signing out!

p.s: go support skvader 's apex legends oneshots 😡🔫💕 they deserve way more recognition bc their imagines are WAY better than mine